Almost made it 28 years

[Raptorman]

I've been here and I fought it to both our financial ruin. It was all or nothing, and I chose complete destruction.

I let it wipe us completely out. She wants to go hoore, she can do it broke.

She's looking at living it up large on "her fair share".

When they claim they want to be "fair" it means they want it all.

She better be able to back up those abuse claims and they better be in writing so your attorney can go after her with bother barrels. He better be brutal and you better not back down. Chix tears are nothing but a weapon. They are an indicator of your attorney is being effective and for you to back off. DON'T.

 

[shakey hunter]

So true Raptorman them are serious allegations. I have government job. 18 years prior LEO so I'm not taking them lightly at all.

 

[shakey hunter]

I may not sure yet. This point see what she wants. If I can live with it sign it and move on.

 

[Granite3]

Sorry this has happened.

Hopefully you have a bulldog for a lawyer.

1. Marriage is over, OWN it.
2. The sooner you accept that you are willing to "lose" it all, the better your mental sanity will be. You won't lose it all, just 1/2 plus some stuff you wont care about down the road. (furniture, etc. As the Judge told me, no other woman wants to sleep in your old married bed or eat at the table that was your married table. True stuff there.)
3. Contact only through lawyer, no kid stuff to coordinate.
4. Document everything. Write it down like a logbook. Go ahead and write up EVERYTHING since September. This will matter when you go to court.

My 18 yr marriage/ 22 yrs together ended 5 years ago. Almost 2 yr divorce, all about kids under 10. Child abuse/Spouse abuse/ you name it, she alleged it. Cost was almost unbearable, now worth every penny.

I have an awesome life now, and you will too.

Good luck!

 

[fslc94]

I may not sure yet. This point see what she wants. If I can live with it sign it and move on.

Don’t be hiring PI’s. That’s ludicrous. Why possibly torture yourself? Everything will come out in the end anyways. Hiring people to follow up on her only makes things worse, unless there were suspected drug use, or something crazy involved that was detrimental to the children. Just try and move on, it’s over. Quicker it’s over the better.

 

[Bushwick100]

The January 14th would have been 28 years of marriage. Been separated since September. Out of pretense of working things out. This past Wednesday got served divorce papers out of the blue. No discussion no warning shot just nothing. Was out of left field. But dang at least give me a warning shot! She even told kids that we were "going to try to work it out." Said I had abused her cruelty and menacing. Never did any of that crap. At least my son said dad I got your back she's gone bat crap crazy. You've never done any of that I know. She ain't going to do that to you I got your back. Made me feel better from him at least.
Now it's just see how much I'm going to lose at this point. It's going to be hell starting over at 52. But I'll suck it up do what I got to do and move on.
I may not ever know what her thinking is I know. But I do know it will hurt for sure but ain't going to kill me for sure. Thanks for letting me blow off steam. I got a lawyer I can trust at least. The first one said be prepared to lose 1/2-3/4 of everything you have. Not want I wanted to hear. I known it's probably the truth. But damn give me some hope at least. Lawyer I have now at least gave me some hope. I understand I'm going to lose stuff. I'd love to keep it to a minimum as I can. Yes a dream I know But first lawyer didn't even start out I'll try my best. Just telling me be prepared to lose everything.

I will Pray for you, but at least you got a Lawyer. I just hope you come out ok. Good Luck!

 

[wildbill1973z28]

The January 14th would have been 28 years of marriage. Been separated since September. Out of pretense of working things out. This past Wednesday got served divorce papers out of the blue. No discussion no warning shot just nothing. Was out of left field. But dang at least give me a warning shot! She even told kids that we were "going to try to work it out." Said I had abused her cruelty and menacing. Never did any of that crap. At least my son said dad I got your back she's gone bat crap crazy. You've never done any of that I know. She ain't going to do that to you I got your back. Made me feel better from him at least.
Now it's just see how much I'm going to lose at this point. It's going to be hell starting over at 52. But I'll suck it up do what I got to do and move on.
I may not ever know what her thinking is I know. But I do know it will hurt for sure but ain't going to kill me for sure. Thanks for letting me blow off steam. I got a lawyer I can trust at least. The first one said be prepared to lose 1/2-3/4 of everything you have. Not want I wanted to hear. I known it's probably the truth. But damn give me some hope at least. Lawyer I have now at least gave me some hope. I understand I'm going to lose stuff. I'd love to keep it to a minimum as I can. Yes a dream I know But first lawyer didn't even start out I'll try my best. Just telling me be prepared to lose everything.

do not jump from the grease to the fire, these young 1 are crazy as hell. slow down take it easy, do you for 25 years, good luck

 

[TresMonos]

It was all her choice not mine. The moving out to divorce.

If SHE abandoned the marital home in September, then SHE abandoned your marriage. Abandonment is cause for divorce so if that is the case, SHE is at fault....at least in NC it is. Check with your lawyer as her abandonment of your 28 year marriage may be a factor in property division.....

1. Marriage is over, OWN it.
2. The sooner you accept that you are willing to "lose" it all, the better your mental sanity will be. You won't lose it all, just 1/2 plus some stuff you wont care about down the road.
3. Contact only through lawyer, no kid stuff to coordinate.
4. Document everything. Write it down like a logbook. Go ahead and write up EVERYTHING since September. This will matter when you go to court.

1&2 can be subjective but yeah....it's only stuff, you can get more stuff.
3&4 - SOLID ADVICE

My 18 yr marriage/ 22 yrs together ended 5 years ago. Almost 2 yr divorce, all about kids under 10. Child abuse/Spouse abuse/ you name it, she alleged it. Cost was almost unbearable, now worth every penny.

I have an awesome life now, and you will too.!

My first wife did everything to discredit me but when we actually stood in front of the judge it was she who was at fault in the end. I willingly gave up 1/2 but the judge told me I did not have to. I told her that I didn't want it or really like it anyway....since my wife picked it out, and that she could have it AND the debt that went along with it. The judge agreed...

 

[WinstonSmith]

I hope you have the best resolution possible in a tough situation. Sending a word up for you and yours.

 

[rlmblm21]

All women have snakes in their heads. Some have little green snakes, some have mambas. Better to find out she don't want to be around now than when you might need her. They can sure make your life a living hell if they grow those vipers in their heads.

Hey now! And I thought I liked you!

OP, I am sorry you are going through this. I agree with some on here that have indicated you should not lose it all. Equity state.