Garden Gnome Sanctuary

Typhon · Mar 12, 2018

Calling all wayward and unwanted Garden Gnomes and statues. We are building a sanctuary for these majestic creatures where they can run free and return to their feral roots. Yes, we will even provide sanctuary to lawn flamingos! The Gnomes need food after all lol. Seriously though, we are taking any gnomes or lawn statues you want to get rid of. Will drive to pick them up and will drop a few dollars to take them off your hands. They will not be used for target practice.

the_great_white · Mar 12, 2018

So your building a sanctuary city for wayward gnomes?

Typhon · Mar 12, 2018

That is the plan. My wife loves them and we have 10-1/2 acres to play with.

PolarBearsLie · Mar 12, 2018

Wait till other gnomes become jealous and want to circumvent to process of entry into your sancutuary and start flooding in from all parts of the world. Bringing with them their different gnome customs and cultures inadvertently offending each others way of life and personal creeds.

Gnome war will erupt leaving behind countless broken gnome families and fatherless baby gnomes. They’ll turn to drugs and start peddling dope to cope with the violence and despair they’ve witnessed, committing petty crime, while constantly demanding more and more from your wife and you.

You’ll have to build a wall around your property to stop the eternal flow of gnomes, flamingos, stone rabbits, turtle statues, etc. eventually all yard decorations will Demand you provide them with safe spaces, clean homes, repair services, creature comforts you name it.

Good luck to your sanctuary gnome utopia. I suggest you keep them as oppressed as possible.

Typhon · Mar 12, 2018

JDS556762 said:
Wait till other gnomes become jealous and want to circumvent to process of entry into your sancutuary and start flooding in from all parts of the world. Bringing with them their different gnome customs and cultures inadvertently offending each others way of life and personal creeds.

Gnome war will erupt leaving behind countless broken gnome families and fatherless baby gnomes. They’ll turn to drugs and start peddling dope to cope with the violence and despair they’ve witnessed, committing petty crime, while constantly demanding more and more from your wife and you.

You’ll have to build a wall around your property to stop the eternal flow of gnomes, flamingos, stone rabbits, turtle statues, etc. eventually all yard decorations will Demand you provide them with safe spaces, clean homes, repair services, creature comforts you name it.

Good luck to your sanctuary gnome utopia. I suggest you keep them as oppressed as possible.

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I appreciate the feedback and appreciate your concerns. This will indeed be a Gnometopia where they will be expected to govern themselves without any form of state involvement. This is a homesteading action only. All immigrants will be expected to keep their citizen status by farming magic plants and eliminating any pixie or fairy population within our borders. We do not discriminate so all flamingos, stone rabbits, and turtle statues are welcome. Even lions and yard jockeys are welcome as long as they contribute to the society. We have also developed a bioweapon to eliminate the entire population if absolutely required.

PolarBearsLie · Mar 12, 2018

Typhon said:
I appreciate the feedback and appreciate your concerns. This will indeed be a Gnometopia where they will be expected to govern themselves without any form of state involvement. This is a homesteading action only. All immigrants will be expected to keep their citizen status by farming magic plants and eliminating any pixie or fairy population within our borders. We do not discriminate so all flamingos, stone rabbits, and turtle statues are welcome. Even lions and yard jockeys are welcome as long as they contribute to the society. We have also developed a bioweapon to eliminate the entire population if absolutely required.

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