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Heck that's NOTHING! Let me tell you what my ex did to me!
- Thread starter BangBang
- Start date
I'll kill you!!! I swear, I'll...........wait a minute, you ALMOST baited me again!!! Lmao!
Deleted
You're welcome......whoever deleted my stuff. Bless your heart
This thread reads like a Helen Keller novel with 1/2 the dots missing.
After reading this thread I am so glad I did not get married while in the Navy. I never broke the rule of hooking up with another guys wife or girl when they were deployed. But they sure tried.Whenever a Battle Group pulled out in Norfolk the E Club would be packed with these lousy bitches. Of course other dirt bags took advantage of the situation. It happened to good friend of mine. We came back from Somolia in 93 and his wife took everything thing they owned and his kids. We found Derrick a week later hanging in a tree about a mile from the base. It didn't get married until I was 30. Best decision ever. April was 14 years for us. Three beautiful healthy children and a great relationship. We built our marriage on The Rock of our Savior Jesus. But with that being said there sure are some crazy bitches out there.
Ok, ok. Here's the story, but I'm warning y'all, it's not going to live up to the legendary status that it's seems to have gotten on ODT....
Many years ago I was married to a lying, cheating whore. The problem was that I didn't KNOW that she was a lying, cheating whore.
I also didn't know that she wanted me dead. So when she suggested that we go get $100,000 life insurance policies on each other I agreed to do it.
We had recently bought a fixer-upper house and as some of y'all know, I'm a cheap SOB, so I was doing most of the renovation work myself to save money.
Funds were pretty tight for us at the time because I let her handle the money and come to find out later, she was spending a lot of my money paying for motel rooms to screw her various boyfriends in.
Anyway, as part of the renovation, I had to do some electrical work. When it came time for me to mess with the existing wiring for the clothes dryer, she took a sudden interest in what I was doing and started asking me some questions.....
Her: "Don't dryers have more power running to them than the regular outlets in the house?"
Me: "Yes, they are 220v. The outlets are only 110v"
Her: "Is 220v enough to kill someone?"
Me (standing in the kitchen with her showing her the breaker for the dryer in the fuse box): "I guess it's possible, but I'm going to turn the power to those wires off by throwing this switch right here."
**Yes I know that it's amperage and not voltage that kills people, but I just wanted to get the damn dryer wiring done, so I didn't feel like going into all that with her**
Her: "So if you flip that switch one way, there's no power on the wires, but if you flip it the other way, power goes back into the wires?"
Me: "Yes, and you just stood here and watched me turn it OFF, so you've got nothing to worry about honey. It's perfectly safe."
Her: "OK, I think I understand how it works now."
Me: "OK then, I'm going to go get my tools and get started."
I went outside to the shed to get my stuff and she stayed in the kitchen.
When I got back into the kitchen (that's where the dryer wiring was) she wasn't in there anymore.
I got my wire cutters out, grabbed the wire and cut it......
BOOM!!!! Sparks flew in my face and I damn near **** my pants. Somehow the wires that I had turned off at the breaker 10 minutes earlier magically got turned back on.
I started yelling and cussing and calling her. She didn't come. I got up and went to find her. She was just laying on the bed staring at the ceiling acting like she didn't hear anything that had happened.
Me: "Hey, didn't you just hear that loud pop and then hear me calling you?"
Her: "No I didn't hear anything. What happened?"
Me: "Those ****ing wires that I just turned off had power going to them and I just ****ing cut into them!"
Her: "Did it shock you?"
Me: "No, the cutters I was using had insulated handles."
Her: "Well that was lucky for you since you obviously flipped that switch the wrong way."
Man, I was really kicking myself for being so careless, but I just kept thinking "I KNOW I turned that breaker off". So anyway, I went back to the kitchen, made SURE the breaker was off and finished the wiring without anymore problems. I just chalked the whole thing up as a mistake on my part and forgot about it.
Fast forward about six months later to when I caught the whore cheating and kicked her out....
I ended up talking to one of the dudes that she had been running around on me with. He claimed to have never known about me, but who knows what the truth really is. So me and him are talking and comparing notes when he tells me something pretty interesting....
She had been seeing him around the time of the "wiring incident" and had told him that she was about to inherit a house from a family member. She told him that she wanted him to move into the house with her once she got it.
She told him that the house needed a little work, but not to worry about that because when she inherited the house she would also be inheriting $100,000 (the exact amount of life insurance she had on me) that they could use to fix it up!
When he told me that, all I could think was...
"I KNEW I had turned that damn breaker off!"
So there you have it. The plot to murder BangBang for a house and $100K.
The basic plan was actually pretty smart on her part other than the fact that 220v isn't likely to kill a man.
If it HAD killed me, it would've looked like a total accident and she probably would've gotten away with it.
Oh and...
**** HER!
Many years ago I was married to a lying, cheating whore. The problem was that I didn't KNOW that she was a lying, cheating whore.
I also didn't know that she wanted me dead. So when she suggested that we go get $100,000 life insurance policies on each other I agreed to do it.
We had recently bought a fixer-upper house and as some of y'all know, I'm a cheap SOB, so I was doing most of the renovation work myself to save money.
Funds were pretty tight for us at the time because I let her handle the money and come to find out later, she was spending a lot of my money paying for motel rooms to screw her various boyfriends in.
Anyway, as part of the renovation, I had to do some electrical work. When it came time for me to mess with the existing wiring for the clothes dryer, she took a sudden interest in what I was doing and started asking me some questions.....
Her: "Don't dryers have more power running to them than the regular outlets in the house?"
Me: "Yes, they are 220v. The outlets are only 110v"
Her: "Is 220v enough to kill someone?"
Me (standing in the kitchen with her showing her the breaker for the dryer in the fuse box): "I guess it's possible, but I'm going to turn the power to those wires off by throwing this switch right here."
**Yes I know that it's amperage and not voltage that kills people, but I just wanted to get the damn dryer wiring done, so I didn't feel like going into all that with her**
Her: "So if you flip that switch one way, there's no power on the wires, but if you flip it the other way, power goes back into the wires?"
Me: "Yes, and you just stood here and watched me turn it OFF, so you've got nothing to worry about honey. It's perfectly safe."
Her: "OK, I think I understand how it works now."
Me: "OK then, I'm going to go get my tools and get started."
I went outside to the shed to get my stuff and she stayed in the kitchen.
When I got back into the kitchen (that's where the dryer wiring was) she wasn't in there anymore.
I got my wire cutters out, grabbed the wire and cut it......
BOOM!!!! Sparks flew in my face and I damn near **** my pants. Somehow the wires that I had turned off at the breaker 10 minutes earlier magically got turned back on.
I started yelling and cussing and calling her. She didn't come. I got up and went to find her. She was just laying on the bed staring at the ceiling acting like she didn't hear anything that had happened.
Me: "Hey, didn't you just hear that loud pop and then hear me calling you?"
Her: "No I didn't hear anything. What happened?"
Me: "Those ****ing wires that I just turned off had power going to them and I just ****ing cut into them!"
Her: "Did it shock you?"
Me: "No, the cutters I was using had insulated handles."
Her: "Well that was lucky for you since you obviously flipped that switch the wrong way."
Man, I was really kicking myself for being so careless, but I just kept thinking "I KNOW I turned that breaker off". So anyway, I went back to the kitchen, made SURE the breaker was off and finished the wiring without anymore problems. I just chalked the whole thing up as a mistake on my part and forgot about it.
Fast forward about six months later to when I caught the whore cheating and kicked her out....
I ended up talking to one of the dudes that she had been running around on me with. He claimed to have never known about me, but who knows what the truth really is. So me and him are talking and comparing notes when he tells me something pretty interesting....
She had been seeing him around the time of the "wiring incident" and had told him that she was about to inherit a house from a family member. She told him that she wanted him to move into the house with her once she got it.
She told him that the house needed a little work, but not to worry about that because when she inherited the house she would also be inheriting $100,000 (the exact amount of life insurance she had on me) that they could use to fix it up!
When he told me that, all I could think was...
"I KNEW I had turned that damn breaker off!"
So there you have it. The plot to murder BangBang for a house and $100K.
The basic plan was actually pretty smart on her part other than the fact that 220v isn't likely to kill a man.
If it HAD killed me, it would've looked like a total accident and she probably would've gotten away with it.
Oh and...
**** HER!
^^^^^Dang it man
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