Heck that's NOTHING! Let me tell you what my ex did to me!

[BangBang]

she shot herself in the side of the head with a Rossi 357 standing less than 10 feet from me. So... I won.

^^^ There's an epic signature line if I ever saw one!

 

[fast306stang]

It struck me as strange at the time the way she was just laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, because I knew she HAD to have heard what had just happened.

At the time I didn't understand the weird look she gave me when I walked into the bedroom and told her what happened. Now I know it was a look of disappointment because I was still alive.

"Honey, shut that breaker OOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!"

 

[BangBang]

"Honey, shut that breaker OOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!"

View attachment 1222796

LMAO!

That's probably pretty close to the face I made when I cut into those wires and they sparked and popped.

After that day I started throwing the main breaker anytime I **** with any wires in the house.

 

[BanjoJohn]

LMAO!

That's probably pretty close to the face I made when I cut into those wires and they sparked and popped.

After that day I started throwing the main breaker anytime I **** with any wires in the house.

I think I'd put a lock on it also. lol

 

[fast306stang]

LMAO!

That's probably pretty close to the face I made when I cut into those wires and they sparked and popped.

After that day I started throwing the main breaker anytime I **** with any wires in the house.

I lived in a **** ass for real ghetto apartment once and I think it was the smoke alarm that kept going off all the time for no reason. Whatever alarm it was, it was hardwired. I got pissed off one day, snatched it off the wall with the wires hanging out and just took a pair of dykes and cut those wires. I wasn't thinking clearly obviously, probably because this damn thing had been going off for weeks...I cut those 2 wires at the same time and got the loud pop and shower of sparks like you got. I felt pretty lucky afterwards but I was glad to have that damn thing off the wall, FINALLY!

 

[letusbuyyourcar]

^^^ There's an epic signature line if I ever saw one!

Actually my signature line should be " You'd be amazed what you can live through when you don't have any other options."

 

[BangBang]

I think I'd put a lock on it also. lol

I'm not too worried about it these days because that ***** is long gone. She's somebody I else's problem now.

The current "Miss BangBang" had the chance to get rid of me back in 2013 when I went into anaphylactic shock one night and was laying in the hallway floor dying.

My throat was closing up and I kept passing out and waking up and passing back out. I remember waking up one time and she was on the phone....

Me: "Who are you calling?"

Her: "I'm calling you an ambulance."

Me: "Don't call a ****ing ambulance! I can't afford that **** !"

Her: "Shut up and drink this liquid Benadryl before you die. The ambulance is already on the way and you ARE getting in it."

I still tease her that I would've rather died that night than pay the $700 bill for that damn ambulance.

She doesn't think it's funny.

 

[NewLeaf]

I'm not too worried about it these days because that ***** is long gone. She's somebody I else's problem now.

The current "Miss BangBang" had the chance to get rid of me back in 2013 when I went into anaphylactic shock one night and was laying in the hallway floor dying.

My throat was closing up and I kept passing out and waking up and passing back out. I remember waking up one time and she was on the phone....

Me: "Who are you calling?"

Her: "I'm calling you an ambulance."

Me: "Don't call a ****ing ambulance! I can't afford that **** !"

Her: "Shut up and drink this liquid Benadryl before you die. The ambulance is already on the way and you ARE getting in it."

I still tease her that I would've rather died that night than pay the $700 bill for that damn ambulance.

She doesn't think it's funny.

And That "One" is a keeper. $700 won't buy you an ambulance ride these days lol.

 

[NewLeaf]

Actually my signature line should be " You'd be amazed what you can live through when you don't have any other options."

Put'em both together and you have a good start to writing a Country Song

 

[Tactical Beaver]

I though this was appropriate for this tread but No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer:

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch.

That's awesome!