Stop looking. In my experience the best things happen in the most unexpected of ways and times.
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how do you let go
- Thread starter Mr. Goodbar
- Start date
Stop looking. In my experience the best things happen in the most unexpected of ways and times.
Couple of points:
Forgiveness whether yourself or someone else is difficult but critical. Unforgiveness is like a disease, no matter what you do or how far you run, it will be with you till you take the steps to cure it.
Alcohol or whatever else including tattoos will only temporarily mask your feelings and more than likely make things worse.
Being/staying isolated will not help anything. We were not created to be alone. Whatever voice that's telling you to stay at home and not try to be around others is the one that wants you stay this way. I think you can gather who this is.
Church is where at least 2 or more are gathered. See last statement. Visit different churches till you find one that fits you and has brothership your age group. Very Important: A church that does not preach a convicting biblical message is not where you want to be....unless you don't want anything to change.
You are on to something with excersizing, as someone stated mountain biking can be a great outlet for this as well as being outdoors and sometimes a bit adventurous. Regardless, at least make some positive small changes and drop some things that you know are holding you down.
Praying for you brother!
Forgiveness whether yourself or someone else is difficult but critical. Unforgiveness is like a disease, no matter what you do or how far you run, it will be with you till you take the steps to cure it.
Alcohol or whatever else including tattoos will only temporarily mask your feelings and more than likely make things worse.
Being/staying isolated will not help anything. We were not created to be alone. Whatever voice that's telling you to stay at home and not try to be around others is the one that wants you stay this way. I think you can gather who this is.
Church is where at least 2 or more are gathered. See last statement. Visit different churches till you find one that fits you and has brothership your age group. Very Important: A church that does not preach a convicting biblical message is not where you want to be....unless you don't want anything to change.
You are on to something with excersizing, as someone stated mountain biking can be a great outlet for this as well as being outdoors and sometimes a bit adventurous. Regardless, at least make some positive small changes and drop some things that you know are holding you down.
Praying for you brother!
Just want to say I appreciate all the kind words and advice from every one of you guys. I definitely am taking it all in and to the heart.
Brother man!! Life's definitely tough. I'm sure everyone on here can relate and give you awesome advice. I can especially relate right now going through this recent divorce and moving into a new place all alone. It's been a very difficult year to say the least. I've been doing several major things to help cope with everything and it's been working very well! Believe me, some days are better than others.
- I've been running with my dog! A lot! Life feels so much better after a 3 mile run!
- I've been shooting a lot too....huge stress reliever.
- Saying "yes" to every invite I get from friends to go out and do things; whether I want to or not.
- A lot of prayer!
- Don't be afraid to tip a few back - just be careful with this one.
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I think everyone has been in a dark place at least once. For me several times in my life. Think about what put you there but, don't dwell on it. Learn how to be a better person from it. I can't put enough emphasis on prayer and surrounding yourself with good positive people and doing positive things. This will encourage you and help you not to avoid the responsibilities you may not want to deal with. It takes time but your life will come together. If you want to talk send me a pm. I promise I will not judge you.
Man I'm with you, sitting here at the VA now about to see the head wizards and discuss this exact question. Probably won't have any good advice post-interrogation, but I gotta check a box and they just LOVE hearing my stories (heavy sarcasm) good luck with what you're going through, sometimes just gotta take a knee, drink water, say a prayer and push on.
I had a friend that became a sheriffs deputy. Within the first month or so of him getting on the street, a guy shot his partner and he had to kill the guy. He was having a hard time with it, and I told him- this moment doesn't define you.
Further, my dad spent 67-68 in Vietnam. There was nothing glorious about it. People died that he knew and people died trying to kill him, and people died that were innocent and in the wrong place. However, it was one year (+/-) out of 77 that he's lived. Can he justify the other 76 years plus of life being consumed by the tragedies of that season?
I liken it all to a parable I came up with years ago:
Two guys are going down a river at the same time, in separate canoes. They hit the same rapids, they each get dumped in the river and swim to the bank, lucky to be alive. One thinks "That was horrific, I'll never get in a canoe, or on a river again!" The other thinks "That was a hell of a ride, Thank God I'm alive, but I'm doing this again, and I'll conquer this river!"
What's the difference in the two? Simply what they choose to do afterwards can and will determine their entire future.
Another tidbit- lyrics from a Grateful Dead song-
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait...
Another thing that helps me move on-
Invictus-
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley
Further, my dad spent 67-68 in Vietnam. There was nothing glorious about it. People died that he knew and people died trying to kill him, and people died that were innocent and in the wrong place. However, it was one year (+/-) out of 77 that he's lived. Can he justify the other 76 years plus of life being consumed by the tragedies of that season?
I liken it all to a parable I came up with years ago:
Two guys are going down a river at the same time, in separate canoes. They hit the same rapids, they each get dumped in the river and swim to the bank, lucky to be alive. One thinks "That was horrific, I'll never get in a canoe, or on a river again!" The other thinks "That was a hell of a ride, Thank God I'm alive, but I'm doing this again, and I'll conquer this river!"
What's the difference in the two? Simply what they choose to do afterwards can and will determine their entire future.
Another tidbit- lyrics from a Grateful Dead song-
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait...
Another thing that helps me move on-
Invictus-
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley
Today I hate no one. I'm angry with no one.
But it wasn't always so.
I've seen it time and time again in this thread, that forgiveness is the first step.
Sometimes you have to forgive yourself and sometimes you have to forgive someone else.
I'm in agreement it starts right there.
Until I forgave this person and I mean REALLY forgave them, I was the one that was paying the price.
It ate me up and it was impossible to get on with enjoying my life.
One step at a time bud, one step at a time.......
But it wasn't always so.
I've seen it time and time again in this thread, that forgiveness is the first step.
Sometimes you have to forgive yourself and sometimes you have to forgive someone else.
I'm in agreement it starts right there.
Until I forgave this person and I mean REALLY forgave them, I was the one that was paying the price.
It ate me up and it was impossible to get on with enjoying my life.
One step at a time bud, one step at a time.......
Turn it all over to Jesus , you cannot carry that kind of load on your own, give forgiveness and receive forgiveness and let the Lord Jesus take it all away.
Did you know, that every 10-15 years every living cell in your body has died and been replaced with new living cells. Technically you are an entirely new organism than you were 10 years ago. Your memories aren't even real anymore, they are memories of memories. The old you is dead, at least 2-3 times over. Something interesting to think about.
