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Hunting Jokes... Let's laugh a little bit... lol
- Thread starter OttoMan
- Start date
Two guys out hunting, in morning one sits over a log
to do his business. He feels a sting on his butt, turns
around to see a snake heading off thru the grass.
He hollers to his friend "I've been bitten on my azz by
a snake!" Friend tells him to calm down, stay still, and
he'll go to the ranger station for help. At the station, no
one is on duty but there is a phone so he calles the ER.
Tells the doctor his friend has been snake bit and needs
doctor to come out there right away. Doc explains he can't
leave and friend can do first aid then get victim to hospital
asap. Here's what you do. Have a knife? okay, cut a small
slit from one fang mark to the other. Then suck some of the
blood out and spit it out. Do that a few times then get him over
here. Friend runs back to camp, tells him no help at station
but he talked to a doctor. Victim asks "well what did he say?"
He says you're gonna die.
to do his business. He feels a sting on his butt, turns
around to see a snake heading off thru the grass.
He hollers to his friend "I've been bitten on my azz by
a snake!" Friend tells him to calm down, stay still, and
he'll go to the ranger station for help. At the station, no
one is on duty but there is a phone so he calles the ER.
Tells the doctor his friend has been snake bit and needs
doctor to come out there right away. Doc explains he can't
leave and friend can do first aid then get victim to hospital
asap. Here's what you do. Have a knife? okay, cut a small
slit from one fang mark to the other. Then suck some of the
blood out and spit it out. Do that a few times then get him over
here. Friend runs back to camp, tells him no help at station
but he talked to a doctor. Victim asks "well what did he say?"
He says you're gonna die.
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs.
That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear was charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move.
"Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish:
Please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"
That very instant the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet:
Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive...."
That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear was charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move.
"Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish:
Please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"
That very instant the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet:
Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive...."
