I'm looking for absolutely useless, poor quality and value Christmas gifts for 2020

[alleycat]

 

[GAgunLAWbooklet]

Rectal thermometer

Did you hear about the doctor at the hospital, making his rounds, and when the nurse asked him to sign a prescription slip for the patient, he couldn't get any ink to transfer to the paper?
After scribbling for a few seconds, he realized that he was, in fact, holding his RECTAL THERMOMETER.
Looking at his empty shirt pocket, he turned to the nurse and said,
"Nurse, look at this. Do you realize what this means?"
The nurse shrugged and replied: "Some a$$h0le has your pen?"

 

[GAgunLAWbooklet]

Stainless steel weenie and marshmallow roasting sticks.
Your friends can be the talk of the neighborhood
when they use this at multi-family backyard cook-outs,
community fire-pit burns with hot chocolate at the local park,
camp-outs with the Boy-ish Scouts (any age or gender is welcome)
or Girl Scouts (I think they're still girls-only, but lezbos are welcome).

 

[Hayata]

Coffee table book covering, I dunno, swamps or grass or trees or something.

 

[EMC45]

Whoa Whoa Whoa....Don't go bashing Lee now

 

[Justin87]

Hubcap for a car brand they don't have...

Or a flower pot filled with dirt, but no flowers.

...but tell them that there is a seed in there (there isn't) and that they need to nurture it to see what kind of flower it is.

 

[Stampede]

...but tell them that there is a seed in there (there isn't) and that they need to nurture it to see what kind of flower it is.

That is pure eee-ville sir, reported.

 

[THREEJAYS]

Pee in small bottles and tell them its fox urine cover scent

 

[Gunanddoglover]

 

[Gunanddoglover]