I'm lost, sad, mad and just straight out angry

[1gunsnotenough]

Very sorry for your loss. My brother is my best friend can't imagine being without him.

 

[HERMET]

My deepest heartfelt condolences and prayers for you all. Sometimes it feels like we absolutely can't take anymore but God will grant us strength if we ask.
Bless you and your family.

 

[Red Squirrel 556]

You did what you needed to do.

 

[Gunanddoglover]

Sorry for your losses, prayers for you and all during this trying time. It's a lot to bear, but remember God doesn't give you more than you can handle and He is always with you.

 

[OttoMan]

WOW…
WOW…
WOW…

Very tough road, and valley that shadows the death is so crucial and sad. I don’t know what what to say my Brother. I know that no matter what, The Almighty God is in Control. We are Sojourners on this earth. Soon we all will be together in a better place, as we keep our hope in Jesus Christ.

If there is ANYTHING I can do to help you, please let me know!

 

[trw2094]

I pray for the peace of the Holy Spirit over you and your family.

 

[Ghost-1]

Thanks to all of you and trust me I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. I guess I'm still just partially in denial about the whole thing. There are somethings that came to light about his wife that passed away earlier this month and that has me highly agitated and highly pissed for certain reasons and one of them is that she was greedy about somethings and did somethings that never should have happened.

We found out from his son that was living with him and his wife that she was stealing his pain meds and that she had stopped paying on his life insurance policy a few months ago and he never knew about. Now we are looking at having to cover the cost of this a his son doesn't have a job and his other son is to young and autistic.

We will manage it somehow and get it done one way or another. We are having his memorial this Saturday and then I have talked to his son and had him to agree with me and my other brothers to have my brothers ashes along with his wife to be put in the veterans national cemetery down here in Tallahasse, FL since it is just across the state line from where we live and we are from which is Thomasville.

I explained that they his dad had earned that right and I be damned if I would see be denied that right. I also explained that they can he will receive a grave marker as well and that way he will have a nice place to go a visit when he want's to do so and feels the need to be close to his dad.

I go down to the VA in Tallahasse a lot and I drive past the veterans cemetery all the time. When they put my brother there I know I'll be making a stop every time I go down there even if it is just for a few minutes when I'm on my way home.

 

[Ghost-1]

Damn bud. I get it. The VA is garbage. Your brother deserved better. I'm in the darkness right now too. Let it out. If you need to talk, I'm here.

You know after I retired and started going to the VA I thought as much myself due to the treatment and the doctor they had me seeing. Well lets just say he kept playing with fire and I was finally able to get enough on him to get him fired after dealing with patient advocate several times along with my documentation.

They assigned me to another team of doctors that only deal with OIF/OEF vet's. The whole team is awesome and I have been very happy with the treatment and care I receive from them. My PCP is great and when I let her know that have a issue she gets right n and I can send a message through secure messenger and get a response within an hour if it's just a general question but if it's something that might be urgent then I will get a reply in as little as 20 minutes or they will stop and actually call me.

She has really helped cut through the red tape and get into the specialty clinics faster than normal and get other things done and taken care of faster than normal. The biggest issue's I have are the circus and clown show when dealing with the clowns down in Lake City and Gainesville VA hospitals where I have to for my specialty treatment and doctors.

 

[Ghost-1]

I am very sorry for your loss I am blessed to still have my brothers with me but I can’t imagine having to make the decision’s you have had to make But I lost my oldest son about 4 months ago. Sometimes things happen and we don’t understand why but our Father in heaven has a plan for all of us I ask for his help every day and try my best to trust him I am praying for you and asking God to give you his peace that passes all understanding.

I am so sorry to hear about your son and I couldn't even imagine loosing my son as he is the only child we have. I know it's not in our hands and that when our heavenly father calls you home then it is his plan and there is nothing you can do about it. It just hurts as my brother was only 46 and still had life to live for his two boy's who needed him.

 

[Ghost-1]

You did what you needed to do.

You know you are right and the decision had to be made. It just hurts more as it was my brother not just a friend or one of soldiers that I was talking to trying to comfort. Yes they were personal and each one hurt but this was just a little to much and it hurt the most. I think part of it was it seemed as though I was being callous about it but I had already cried and was still fighting back the tears even more as I had to in that little bit of time stop my emotions and deal with the issue at hand and be strong for my other brother and my mother who just couldn't deal with it.