So today’s topic is friends, making friends as a man over 30, or over 40 as it is in my case. I think this is one of the biggest challenges we face individually as men and I’m gonna be the one to drop my nuts on the desk and address it with all of you. In the hopes that at the least we get a good discussion going, and at best maybe I can link up with someone to be a solid “local friend”. What do I mean by local friend, well I have two great ones that live 6 hours north and 6 hours south of me. Which is a little tough logistically to do anything more than once a month or once every other month based on their schedules (kids, work, girlfriend, etc).
I’m lucky that I have a supportive wife who is totally encouraging of her man getting out and doing “man ****” with other dudes as much as logistics allow. I have two local “place holders” who while close by, just don’t make the cut. I’m gonna get a little negative here for a minute but stay with me and I’ll pick it back up. The place holders are guys (we all know them) who are always saying “we need to go shoot”, or “we need to go get lunch” but you either don’t hear from them or when you reach out they have to ask momma if they can have some adult time. Or you’re just slightly out of their comfort zone and they don’t want to be challenged by a friend to be better (whether it’s more fitness, being well read, taking on some charity work, whatever really). A lot of guys (note, not men) want it easy, they want to be with someone who doesn’t question, challenge or push them to be better.
Well Gentlemen, that’s absolute horse**** and if you’re doing that, you’re a place holder for someone and you’re not being the best version of yourself for your wife, kids, job and certainly not yourself…and oh yeah, your dog knows too. I don’t mean to come off like an a$$ here because a lot of place holders know their situation and they just don’t want to spend the energy to come out of it. Therefore we gotta sort and sift til we find the men that can challenge us.
If you’re currently in a good tribe, well then, I congratulate you. Hell, send me a PM maybe I can be a part of it, maybe I can be challenged and uncomfortable catching up.
Ok so a little about me;
I don’t want to go to church with you. I love the lord but I also love my Sundays and am perfectly happy without the hypocrisy of organized religions on a lot of fronts (that one just lost me some contenders fellas LOL). But it’s how I feel.
I enjoy working out. Kettlebells, rucking, swimming, running weights. I’m former Mil and LE so the body has taken a beating. But if you can’t keep up with a 49 year old who’s been through some injuries than yeah…we covered that above.
I like to read, and write (obviously). I am a dog owner and my Dane mix is better behaved than most people’s kids. Lotta time and work goes into that. I am married (for a lot of years) and that came with some scars and lessons that I’m happy to pass on if someone is in my friend circle. By the time you reach 50 you realize that all of your mistakes and bullsh1t were for a reason and helped mold you into the person you currently are.
I’m not into sports, sorry lost a whole bunch with that one. My theory is if I didn’t go to the school, or ain’t being paid by the team then why should I give a rip, much less learn the stats, etc. If that’s you then go with god. Have a blast. I am a movie guy and can quote anchorman with the best of em’
If you wanna know more you’ll reach out. Or you can message me to GF myself, that’d be fine too LOL
Feel free to post comments on this taboo subject we all should be looking into.
Cheers gentlemen.
Matt
I’m lucky that I have a supportive wife who is totally encouraging of her man getting out and doing “man ****” with other dudes as much as logistics allow. I have two local “place holders” who while close by, just don’t make the cut. I’m gonna get a little negative here for a minute but stay with me and I’ll pick it back up. The place holders are guys (we all know them) who are always saying “we need to go shoot”, or “we need to go get lunch” but you either don’t hear from them or when you reach out they have to ask momma if they can have some adult time. Or you’re just slightly out of their comfort zone and they don’t want to be challenged by a friend to be better (whether it’s more fitness, being well read, taking on some charity work, whatever really). A lot of guys (note, not men) want it easy, they want to be with someone who doesn’t question, challenge or push them to be better.
Well Gentlemen, that’s absolute horse**** and if you’re doing that, you’re a place holder for someone and you’re not being the best version of yourself for your wife, kids, job and certainly not yourself…and oh yeah, your dog knows too. I don’t mean to come off like an a$$ here because a lot of place holders know their situation and they just don’t want to spend the energy to come out of it. Therefore we gotta sort and sift til we find the men that can challenge us.
If you’re currently in a good tribe, well then, I congratulate you. Hell, send me a PM maybe I can be a part of it, maybe I can be challenged and uncomfortable catching up.
Ok so a little about me;
I don’t want to go to church with you. I love the lord but I also love my Sundays and am perfectly happy without the hypocrisy of organized religions on a lot of fronts (that one just lost me some contenders fellas LOL). But it’s how I feel.
I enjoy working out. Kettlebells, rucking, swimming, running weights. I’m former Mil and LE so the body has taken a beating. But if you can’t keep up with a 49 year old who’s been through some injuries than yeah…we covered that above.
I like to read, and write (obviously). I am a dog owner and my Dane mix is better behaved than most people’s kids. Lotta time and work goes into that. I am married (for a lot of years) and that came with some scars and lessons that I’m happy to pass on if someone is in my friend circle. By the time you reach 50 you realize that all of your mistakes and bullsh1t were for a reason and helped mold you into the person you currently are.
I’m not into sports, sorry lost a whole bunch with that one. My theory is if I didn’t go to the school, or ain’t being paid by the team then why should I give a rip, much less learn the stats, etc. If that’s you then go with god. Have a blast. I am a movie guy and can quote anchorman with the best of em’
If you wanna know more you’ll reach out. Or you can message me to GF myself, that’d be fine too LOL
Feel free to post comments on this taboo subject we all should be looking into.
Cheers gentlemen.
Matt
. Granted, easiest around some common interest(s) but not even that always. You sound like you believe you have your big boy britches on so that's good. If you want to keep it real, it's very clear from your posts why you are having difficulty finding them. 
