Men making new friends...

[Fatal_Bert]

 

[BHPSteel]

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Fatal_Bert just outed us!

 

[rOmiLaYu]

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What's that?

 

[Fatal_Bert]

What's that?

Don't be coy.

 

[drewga11]

I look for similar values in people, rather than just what their interests are. I have a good friend now that I met through a previous job. We don't have the same religious beliefs and we both have interests that aren't shared by the other. We do have some common interests, but not all.

That friend has inspired me to start playing guitar again and learn a new language. I've inspired him to change his lifestyle and make an effort to be healthier and make healthier choices in his life. Neither of us set out to do any of those things.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all that, is don't limit yourself to people that just share all of your interests. If you are only looking for friends that don't like church, love the gym, AND dislike sports, good luck with that. Your pool of potential local friends will be extremely limited if you expect them to be carbon copies of you.

 

[Duke556]

I look for similar values in people, rather than just what their interests are. I have a good friend now that I met through a previous job. We don't have the same religious beliefs and we both have interests that aren't shared by the other. We do have some common interests, but not all.

That friend has inspired me to start playing guitar again and learn a new language. I've inspired him to change his lifestyle and make an effort to be healthier and make healthier choices in his life. Neither of us set out to do any of those things.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all that, is don't limit yourself to people that just share all of your interests. If you are only looking for friends that don't like church, love the gym, AND dislike sports, good luck with that. Your pool of potential local friends will be extremely limited if you expect them to be carbon copies of you.

Thanks for putting me in a box on that one. LOL. Not saying I want to limit myself. I can be religious without being a church goer and I know many who don't want to associate with you if you don't go enough, or to their location (or religion) Ain't nobody got time for that. You don't have to love the gym but if you don't even want to get outside and hike or something with some movement...yeah I can't do it. Dislike sports...no I said I don't follow them and get deeply rooted. But yeah I'd go to a game with a person or watch something with them as long as the favor was reciprocated for an acitivyt that they weren't 100 with.

I don't want a carbon copy of me but I want people that will challenge me to be better and grow.

Btw we used to beat up the MP's.....just kidding....sort of. 😂

 

[joel2000]

It sounds like you’re referring to a wife or a girlfriend, and yes there is value to being away from her. Spending time with male friends you can enrich your life is something your wife or girlfriend cannot do. My wife is very cool too, we share a lot of common interests. With a married for 30 years. But just like I’ll never replace her having female friends in her life she will never replace me having males in mine. My 02 cents on that

Understand... you have to realize I'm 70 years old and climbing ( Hopefully) and have lost 3 true male friends. These friends didn't totally share the same interest as myself but we were " Friends" that spent a lot of time together until we couldn't because of their health and final last breath and I was with all but one when that happened. I understand what you're saying it's just something in the past for me.

 

[above_all]

I have a few old high school friends. I have good friends I made in the military. To be honest though, I've always been a loner preferring to pursue solitary interests. Reading, motorcycle riding, target shooting. I'm pretty much deaf and it makes conversation almost impossible, even with hearing aids. I was gregarious in my younger days, but prefer solitude now.

That being said, I've enjoyed meeting most everyone I've dealt with on ODT. Sometimes I imagine the other member wonders if I'll ever shut up. It's a conundrum.

My wife sent me this the other day. She said it pretty much describes me.

 

[Deleted member 93988]

I hear you on the family, return to let our relatives get away with a lot more than we would our friends or coworkers. But your wife kids and parents are not going to give you the enrichment that comes from equals, males who are familiar with you and your situation. Which is the entire point of my post.

I disagree whole heartedly, but I also understand your point. It is good to fellowship with like minded men, hunting camp, church group, shooting ranges things like that. It has been my experience that friends will let you down, I have always been on the short end of the stick when it comes to friends, meaning I always am the steadfast friend and they are the fare weather friend. It is better to have a group you are friendly with and spend time with but have no expectations outside of what the meeting was for, if that makes sense.

 

[Deleted member 93988]

See this isn’t the case for some. Some folks don’t even have that, even in a full household. Some don’t have anyone in their corner Supporting them to do better. That’s why we are having this convo, because we are missing something huge.

But to each their own. I’m not knocking it.

All I know is, if I had wisdom shared with me a long time ago, from a confidant or someone I looked up to and respected a ton, my life could be completely different. That could be true for a lot of folks.

I had no grandfathers to teach me or fish or hunt with. My father was dealing with trauma from how terrible his father was to him and wasn’t emotionally secure enough to change that generationally with me. So I had to figure that **** out on my own and it sucked..for years. But now I have a pretty good life with a good home life because I knew I wanted different. But it could have come way earlier.

Talking about this stuff may be way outside someone’s comfort zone. But I would like fellow men to know that it can be better.

I understand what you are saying, I am just built different I guess, always been a loaner, maybe because I am an only child. And life(crappy friends and family) have made me a little(a lot) jaded. I am thankful for my grandfather being a guiding force in my life.