Ordering a Pizza in 2023

[ItBeMe]

Ordering a Pizza in 2023
CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
Welcome to the future 🤖

 

[trw2094]

Entirely possible.

 

[basstracker89]

Ain't that the truth!!....

 

[splingbobble]

Scary. What scares me more is that my kids and their friends roll their eyes when I tell them to be careful with all that internet stuff. They laugh when I tell them the internet used to come through the phone and Netflix used to come in the mail. I’m planting the seeds of caution though hopefully.

 

[GAgunLAWbooklet]

as an aside, I have given up trying to order pizza from Papa John's or Little Caesars because they both require you to do it online they say they don't have the staff to accept phone orders and Little Ceasars never has any pizzas premade hot and ready anymore and I don't feel like sitting around 20 minutes waiting!

 

[wozeyjales]

as an aside, I have given up trying to order pizza from Papa John's or Little Caesars because they both require you to do it online they say they don't have the staff to accept phone orders and Little Ceasars never has any pizzas premade hot and ready anymore and I don't feel like sitting around 20 minutes waiting!

Digiorno

 

[basstracker89]

as an aside, I have given up trying to order pizza from Papa John's or Little Caesars because they both require you to do it online they say they don't have the staff to accept phone orders and Little Ceasars never has any pizzas premade hot and ready anymore and I don't feel like sitting around 20 minutes waiting!

Good for you

 

[GeauxLSU]

as an aside, I have given up trying to order pizza from Papa John's or Little Caesars because they both require you to do it online they say they don't have the staff to accept phone orders and Little Ceasars never has any pizzas premade hot and ready anymore and I don't feel like sitting around 20 minutes waiting!

You have done yourself a favor.
I honestly don't know how any human can consume whatever that product is that Lil Ceasear's sells.

 

[HERMET]

as an aside, I have given up trying to order pizza from Papa John's or Little Caesars because they both require you to do it online they say they don't have the staff to accept phone orders and Little Ceasars never has any pizzas premade hot and ready anymore and I don't feel like sitting around 20 minutes waiting!

This plus they all started charging a delivery fee and you still have to tip the driver. F that.

 

[dcline9163]

This plus they all started charging a delivery fee and you still have to tip the driver. F that.

Margos all the way