Many times 1,2 and 3 can be lowball or long drive or a goofy trade offer.
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Sometimes when you have an ad up,someone will respond to it and think they are first.Well sometimes folks never post in the ad they go straight to PM's.OK PM guy was first,post guy is second,and you keep a list of any other interested parties.Gets confusing sometimes and some folks get upset.I try to post in the ad and say "PM sent." so others know there is some type of negotiating going on.Now if PM guy falls out Post guy is now first,but........next little while PM guy comes back and decides he now wants it.Gets kinda confusing.OH and forget lowball guy.
Seller can sell to whomever he chooses, first or not. First should get special consideration, but he is not automatically the "winner". What if #1 has piss poor feedback? No sale in my book. There are other factors as well.
Stealth mode.I don't write PM sent because it will Bump the ad and get more eyes on it!