This Joke is too Close to Home huh?

[Megawolf]

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I'm posting this with a heavy heart...

As much as I love my guns and collecting them, it takes up too much of my time and I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics such as cleaning and maintaining my home, so something has to give. I will be getting rid of my collection.

Below is a list of what's available. Serious inquiries only please and don't insult me with your lowball offers.

Thanks for reading and understanding...



















1. Dustpan and brush

2. Sponges

3. Dusters

4. Mop and bucket

5. Window cleaner

6. Vacuum

7. Dishwashing liquid

8. Laundry detergent

9. Fabric softener

10. Laundry baskets

11. Toilet brush

12. Cleaning sprays

13. Scrubbing brushes

 

[Megawolf]

“A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, What can I get for you?”
The man says “I’ll have a beer”, the ostrich says, “I’ll have a beer”, and the cat says, “I’ll have half a beer and I’m not buying.” So the bartender says, “OK, that will be $3.87.”
The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, “What’ll you guys have?”
The man says, “I’ll have a beer”, the ostrich says, “I’ll have a beer”, and the cat says “I’ll have half a beer and I’m not buying.” The bartender gets them their beer and says “That’ll be $3.87.”
The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks “What do you guys want today?”
The man says, “I’ll have a scotch”, the ostrich says, “I’ll have a bourbon”, and the cat says, “I’ll have half a beer and I’m not buying.” So the bartender says “OK, that will be $7.53.” The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.
The bartender’s curiosity got the best of him and he asks, “Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in you pocket?”
The man said, “I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy.”
The bartender says, “That’s a great wish…better than asking for a million dollars. A million dollars will run out but that never will. What were your other 2 wishes?”
The man says, “That’s where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight *****.”

 

[Megawolf]

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[Megawolf]

 

[Megawolf]

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."

 

[Megawolf]

EMPLOYEE NOTICE.....
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 60 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off

 

[Megawolf]

CLEANING OUT THE SAFE

Item Name: the one on the left towards the bottom

Location: Middle Georgia

Zip Code:

Item is for: Sale only
Sale Price: $1,000,000.00

Caliber:

Willing to Ship: No

Bill of Sale Required?: Yes

Item Description: BNIB, great gun for sail. About 100 rounds just to sight it in. Some holster wear. Trades must heavenly be in my favor.

 

[Megawolf]