This Joke is too Close to Home huh?

[Megawolf]

Cultural Difference? or Japanese Wisdom?
Three men, an American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water since it was fairly secluded.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Chinese quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Japanese covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the American and the Chinese asked the Japanese why he covered his face rather than his private part. The Japanese replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize."

 

[Megawolf]

Murphy's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!"
"Ain't dat grand!" Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!'
The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, "Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too...." Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, H"old on, we aint got done yet!"
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Murph, you just had yourself another boy!"
Murphy said to the doctor, "Doc, what caused all of dem babies?"
The doctor said, "You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception."
Murphy said, "Ah yeah, during conception."
When Murph and his wife went home with their three babies, he sat down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil."
She said, "Yeah, I remember dat night"
Murph said, "I'll tell you, ......it's a friggin good ting we didn't use WD-40. "

 

[mojo]

 

[Megawolf]

So they said gloves & a mask were enough to protect yourself at the supermarket...


......they lied!






Everyone else had clothes on too!

 

[Megawolf]

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch-less panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs - enough times and eventually her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotch-less panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile..
"Thank goodness.....
I thought you were sitting on the cat."
He never heard the gunshot.

 

[Megawolf]

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Data easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make a nine," says the Italian.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees isa dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" (You're going to love this one!!!)
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga came along and crapa by eacha tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, when I'm a gonna start?"

 

[Megawolf]

 

[Megawolf]

 

[Megawolf]

 

[Megawolf]

Two policemen call the station on their radio.
"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."