This Joke is too Close to Home huh?

[Beulah Land]

What do you call a blonde woman who lost 95% of her intelligence? A widow.

A man came to my house and asked for a donation for a local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

I asked my date to go to the gym with me but she never showed up. That's how I knew we would never work out.

My wife asked me if I seen the dog bowl, I said I never knew he did.

 

[Beulah Land]

Tequila probly Isnt the answer to life’s problems, but it’s worth a shot.

I asked my wife when her birthday was and she said March first. So I paraded around the room and asked again.

I saw a microbiologist today, he was much bigger than I expected.

 

[Megawolf]

 

[Megawolf]

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the world are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the world are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.

 

[Megawolf]

A military aircraft had gear problems on landing, and as the plane was skidding down the tarmac the tower controller asked if they needed assistance. From the plane came a laconic southern voice: "Dunno - we ain't done crashin' yet."

 

[Truck123]

 

[Megawolf]

 

[Beulah Land]

 

[diacnik]

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lol! my son and daughter in law have twins from the covid lockdown

 

[BDR1]

lol! my son and daughter in law have twins from the covid lockdown

Dr faulty should be paying paying child support