This Joke is too Close to Home huh?

[Old vette guy]

What a relief. I thought I was slipping when I go from wherever I'm working to the truck and forget what I went to get. With all those doors, I'm doing quite well remembering how to get back inside to where I was working. Thanks for enlightening me!!

 

[Megawolf]

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Rory Mcllroy drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in a typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is..."Top o’ the mornin to ya"
As Rory gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.
"What are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replies Rory.
"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.
"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Rory.
"Aw,Jaysus, Maryan' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything.."

 

[Megawolf]

Two Alabamba football players were walking in the
woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?

 

[Megawolf]

How many Alabama freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.

 

[Megawolf]

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.

 

[Megawolf]

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

 

[Megawolf]

A University of Florida football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

 

[Megawolf]

What do you say to a Clemson football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise.

 

[Megawolf]

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.

 

[Megawolf]

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.