This Joke is too Close to Home huh?

[Megawolf]

1. Teaching Math In The 1950's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In The 1960's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In The 1970's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In The 1980's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: underline the number
20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990's
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

6. Teaching Math In The 2000's
Same question as number 5 but if you have special needs or just feel you need
assistance because of race, color, religion, sex, age, childhood
memories, criminal background, then don't answer and the correct answer
will be provided for you.

 

[Megawolf]

WOW!!!!!!!! Only in Austin.... You will not believe what happened this morning... I went to the gas station and went in for a Diet Coke. When I was driving in, I noticed this Sheriff's deputy watching a woman who was smoking while pumping gas... I saw her and thought, "Is this lady stupid or crazy?!! With the deputy right there too?!"
But anyway, I went inside and got my stuff. When I started getting in my car I heard someone screaming... I looked out the car window and saw the woman's arm was on fire! She was swinging her arm and running around going crazy! I hurried over to assist the deputy who had put her on the ground and was putting the fire out with his coffee!!
He then put handcuffs on her and threw her in the deputies car... I was thinking "what kind of person smokes near a gas pump?!" But being the inquisitive person that I am, I asked the deputy what he was charging her with... He looked me square in the eyes and said... "WAVING A FIRE-ARM!"

 

[Megawolf]

Q: How do you trap a polar bear?
A: You cut a hole in the ice. Line it with peas. When the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.

 

[Megawolf]

'OLD' IS WHEN...Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police
'OLD' IS WHEN....Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 

[Megawolf]

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene on Capitol Hill this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason…they simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the nation's capital.

A search for a virgin also continues.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

 

[Megawolf]

First the blonde had to work late. Then she discovered that she had locked her keys in the car. But the last straw for her was learning that roadside service couldn't get a locksmith to her for at least two hours. Finally the guy showed, looking tired and annoyed.

As the locksmith struggled with her door, she joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?"

"Yeah," he muttered.




"They're called keys."

 

[Megawolf]

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey, and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, the old man is walking, the boy is riding."

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."

So they decided they'd both walk.

Soon they passed some more people who remarked, "They're really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride."

So they both decided to ride the donkey.

They passed some people who shamed them by saying, "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."

The boy and the man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, the donkey gave a big sneeze; they lost their grip on the donkey, the donkey fell into the river and drowned.



The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your *** goodbye.

 

[BDR1]

Q: How do you trap a polar bear?
A: You cut a hole in the ice. Line it with peas. When the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.

I used to tell this one all the time..lol

 

[Megawolf]

A surgeon went to check on his young woman patient after an operation. "You'll be fine," he said.
She asked “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied “Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils taken out."

 

[Megawolf]

If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender!