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  1.

    Famous quotes

    God won't give you more than you can handle. Somebody must have told him I've been working out. Me
  2.

    Famous quotes

    When life gives you lemons make lemonade then find somebody whose life gave them potatoes and made vodka and have a party Ron White
  3.

    Famous quotes

    When life throws you a curve haul off and hit the S.O.B.
  4.

    Famous quotes

    Proverbs 21:9 it is better to live in the corner of a roof than in a White House with a coral some woman
  5.

    Famous quotes

  6. Famous quotes

    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy Groucho Marx
  7.

    Famous quotes

    Build a man of fire he'll stay warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll leave you alone. Me
  8.

    Famous quotes

    Do the best you can, with what you got, where you are. Teddy Roosevelt
  9.

    Trucker wisdom….

    After 26 years on the road. First rule of truck driving is: every now and then you have to eat a little curb. Second rule of truck driving. If you're in a lane you own it. Third rule of truck driving dispatchers only lie when their mouth is moving. Fourth rule truck driving: logs are like...

  10. Clark Howard heart surgery

    I heard that Clark Howard had open heart surgery in his recovering. I hope he recovers well. I wonder how many coupons you used?
  11.

    Caption this......

    Excuse me sir. Can you direct me to the men's club moonshine tasting and Dolly Parton look alike contest.
  12.

    Caption this......

    No, no, no I said I wanna buy doobage not boobage!
  13.

    Tattoo fails…

    I've said it before, most face tattoos make you wonder that sometime somebody said " ya know what would be a good idea"

  14. Anyone else camping out tonight at Greenbriar Mall to get the Black Friday Sales?

    I know what you mean about being a place to go. I bought my first deer rifle at oshman's a million years ago. I'd go down there for Black Friday but my Kevlar tents in the shop.

  15. Wife is mad again!

    Touch her on the arm a few times and when she ask you what you're doing tell her you're looking for the off button. My biggest surprise when I got married was that bipolar doesn't mean she also has a house in California
  16.

    Was this one of you ODT-ers ?

    Well....so much for concealed carry.
  17.

    When you tell Uhaul you need a truck large enough for a whole house, I don’t think they knew you meant this…

    He was almost to the Mississippi when he heard "NO TAILGATING" at the Ga. Game in LA. Just threw it in the ditch and walked home.
  18.

    When you tell Uhaul you need a truck large enough for a whole house, I don’t think they knew you meant this…

    How Travelodge was invented.
  19.

    I’d like to get my SUV painted please…

    Reminds me of my hot wheels after dad took us to Alabama just before the 4th of July.
  20.

    When your exhaust guy has a problem with the bottle

    The customer only had money to go up to the cross over pipe.
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