Giveaway! 164th post giveaway!!!Voting Now!! Closes at noon Thurs.

[Jahoosafat]

A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
'I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a piss'.

 

[RiverBend]

View attachment 275821All in

 

[Glockmania]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aE3ulGCIbo Enjoy!

 

[WyldeDime]

A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?

“First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black.

“A little boy then says, “Trees are definitely green.

“Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown.”

Then, from the back of the class, little Johnny stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?”

“The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!

"OK...then I DEFINITELY just ***** my pants!"

 

[amoye24]

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny…

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different… again.

Little Johnny said, “Because I’m not an Obama fan.”

The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you a fan of Obama?”

Johnny said, “Because I’m a Republican.”

The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, “Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.”

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”

Little Johnny replied, “That would make me an Obama fan.”

 

[SashaTheBear17]

This technically one entry with multiple funnies : Click

 

[jeffdt]

 

[Nut Nat]

Obama has been the best president this country has ever seen!!!

 

[shadowchaser59]

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

​

 

[HighTower]

DID SOMEONE SAY FREE 22LR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!