Best gift you got for Christmas

[Just Plain Bill]

My children and grandchildren all came home for Christmas. Best Christmas gift!

 

[basstracker89]

Funniest, a burbon glass from the wife. Etched in the bottom she thanks me for all the orgasms
I have given her and to keep the ***t up.

You should show that to the kids. The look on their faces would be your second best gifts....... 🤣They'd be scarred for life.......

 

[TresMonos]

Don't forget to eat more fiber or you could end up pants down, face down with a turtle head poking out of your ass

Words to live by for sure.

I bought myself a S&W 586-L Comp Performance Center for Christmas....well I used my Christmas cash so it's a late present. Should be delivered today.

 

[lostchild]

My ex-brother in law died on the ****ter on Christmas Eve. He died like Elvis straining to push one out because he was so full of it, fell over into the bath tub where he was found pants down and unwiped. There is no love lost
Not the best gift but it makes not hate Christmas anymore.
Don't forget to eat more fiber or you could end up pants down, face down with a turtle head poking out of your ass

Tablespoon of Metamucil (or generic brand psyllium fiber.) in a full glass of water before bedtime every night, two cups of coffee next morning, gonna move you.

 

[Wile E. Coyote 5.0]

Tablespoon of Metamucil (or generic brand psyllium fiber.) in a full glass of water before bedtime every night, two cups of coffee next morning, gonna move you.

Sounds like hitting the nitro button in a video game

 

[alexs2006]

So my Dad's last wife said there was nothing wrong with her. She wanted my Dad to see a Psychiatrist. So they finally did. The Doc said there was nothin wrong with him. So we all know where the problem was from there..... 🤣She would run and run her mouth.....One of the most hateful women I've ever seen. Nobody ever got what he saw in her......👹

Must of had fire pussy!

the crazy ones usually do...

 

[alexs2006]

View attachment 8219359

BROOOOOOO THATS SICK!!!

 

[InTune]

Got me a banjo

 

[BillsCamino]

Spending time and sharing a meal with my kids, their spouses, and my 5 grand kids.

 

[lostchild]

So my Dad's last wife said there was nothing wrong with her. She wanted my Dad to see a Psychiatrist. So they finally did. The Doc said there was nothin wrong with him. So we all know where the problem was from there..... 🤣She would run and run her mouth.....One of the most hateful women I've ever seen. Nobody ever got what he saw in her......👹

About 30 years ago we were in a rough patch, wife wanted us to see a marriage counselor.
OK says I, pick one and set an appointment.
So she sets up the appointment, loads me into the car, and off we go.
Get there, counselor's a hot 20 something woman. So I start flirting. After our session, she tells wife problem seems to be all her fault, perhaps lower her expectations.
We never went back....