blonde jokes......

[Lockout]

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies "Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...No"

keep calm chive on

 

[WWG]

So 3 pregnant women are talking at the doctors office.The brunette says I'm having a boy because we did it in the missionary position. The redhead says I'm having a girl because we did it with me on top. The blonde starts crying hysterically and screams OMG I'm having a PUPPY!

 

[hoochfisher]

what did the blonde say when opened the box of cheerios?

oh look, donut seeds!

 

[hoochfisher]

what do you get when a blonde does a hand stand?

a brunette with bad breath.

 

[darrenmd]

What is a blonde's matting call?

I'm soooooo drunk.......

 

[Leatherneck]

How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?

She opens the car door.

 

[vern1915]

How do you know a Blonde has been using your computer?

White-out on the monitor.

 

[Gacowboy]

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:

Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!

 

[dtbeck]

I blonde calls the fire department and says my apartment is on fire. They ask, how do we get there. She says DUH, the big red truck.

 

[ThatOtherGuy]

How do you get a blonde to commit suicide? Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.