I know it's a long shot but I thought someone would have a nice road bike laying around they would want to trade. I received two offers, but one was to small and I didn't like the other bike.
OK, when I saw the add "Want to Buy: Guns for a Road Bicycle" I thought you were looking for something to carry while you rode your bike. Was going to suggest anything you could operate with one hand but not so nice you'll cry when you drop it.