I need new jokes…

[fattboyzz]

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

 

[Wile E. Coyote 5.0]

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

 

[Wile E. Coyote 5.0]

What's the difference between a joke and 2 dicks?

You can't take a joke

 

[geezer]

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

A submarine

 

[InTune]

Masked robber holds up a sperm bank. Gun to her head, " drink that specimen"!. She does. He rips off the mask. Its her husband, " see, I told you it wouldn't kill ya.

 

[Glock 21]

Whaddya call a man with no legs water skiing?
- Skip

Whaddya call a man with no arms and no legs swimming?
- Bob

What do you call a dog with no legs?
- call him whatever you want, he ain’t coming.

Not a leg man I take it

 

[medium187mph]

I had a dream about being a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

 

[WallsGa]

Not a leg man I take it

Whaddya call a man with no arms and no legs who’s at your front door?

-Matt.

 

[Beulah Land]

Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. But Nick had a deep secret, he had a massive desire to sleep with the queen, even if it was just for a night. One day while getting drunk, he revealed his inner desire to his friend Horace. Now, Horace was the king's most trusted minister and all he desired was gold. So he made a deal with Nick, saying that he would give Nick an opportunity to sleep with the queen and in return he wanted 1000 gold coins. Nick agreed to this deal. The next day while the queen was taking a bath, Horace went to the room where the queen's clothes were laid out and put some itching powder in her bra. The queen started itching and wailing in agony and the king promised a hefty reward to any man who can put an end to the pain. Now Horace had given Nick the antidote, told him to put it on his tongue and lick away. Nick showed up in the King's court and said that he could cure her if he had a few hours alone with her, the king had no other choice but to agree. Nick had his fun and the queen was healed. The king rewarded Nick quite handsomely and sent him on his way. The next day, Horace showed up at Nick's doorstep demanding the gold coins he was promised, but Nick wasn't willing to pay up saying that Horace could do nothing or else both of them would be in serious trouble. Horace warned Nick of dire consequences but to no avail. The next day, while the king was taking a bath, Horace placed some itching powder in the King's underwear. Nick was immediately summoned to the king…

 

[Gun Guru]

Whaddya call a man with no arms and no legs who’s at your front door?

-Matt.

Whaddya call a man with no arms and no legs flying over a fence? Homer!!