I need new jokes…

[Stomp2012]

I've been struggling to get my wife's attention lately. So I sat down on couch and got comfortable. That did the trick.

 

[Stomp2012]

You can always hit her with a a pickup line. My wife actually laughed at this one instead of rolling her eyes and walking away.

Dang girl, are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

 

[Jeepswerve]

What are divorces so expensive?

Because they are worth it!

 

[Geekeezer]

That divorce joke works about as well as baptizing a cat.