good call
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joke of the day
- Thread starter eightnsand
- Start date
A guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after enjoying a day of golf.
His wife screams her head off while his friend sits at the kitchen table, open mouthed, listening to the tirade.
"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a ****ing mess and the dishes are still in the sink. I’m completely exhausted! I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Can't you see I'm still in my ****ing pajamas? I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the **** did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time, you stupid asshole!?"
“Because ...
he’s thinking of getting married..."
GOOD ONE !
OH OHA guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after enjoying a day of golf.
His wife screams her head off while his friend sits at the kitchen table, open mouthed, listening to the tirade.
"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a ****ing mess and the dishes are still in the sink. I’m completely exhausted! I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Can't you see I'm still in my ****ing pajamas? I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the **** did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time, you stupid asshole!?"
“Because ...
he’s thinking of getting married..."
There's a girl who comes to the pool everyday. She has no arms or legs, the local lifeguard takes pity on her. One day he walks up to her and ask, "why don't you have any arms or legs"? She replied i was born like this, and only have 5 more years to live. They talk for awhile, she tells him. "I've never been kissed, would you kiss me"? The lifeguard kisses her. Days go by she starts talking to him, then brings up "I've never been figured before, could you"? Once more taking pity on her, he helps her out. The next day she approaches him, and tells him. "I've never f*cked before, would you"? He picks her up and throws her in the pool, he shouts "You'r f*ck'ed now".
A guy wakes his wife at 2a.m. and gives her two asprin and a glass of water saying "Here honey, hurry up and take this"
She replies with "I dont have a headache, why take that?"
He says "Good! Lets have sex!!"
She replies with "I dont have a headache, why take that?"
He says "Good! Lets have sex!!"
