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Karl Childers gets a colonoscopy

ladybug in colon.jpg


For real photo. In a peer reviewed article.
 
Last one I had, no Doc available in the beautiful Brunswick metropolitan area.
Had to drive down to the hospital in St. Mary's for it.
Nothing like doing your prep the night before in a tiny motel room.

And the drive home, farting "Yankee Doodle Dandy" - or "Sweet Home Alabama" if that takes your fancy.
 
I can laugh and tell jokes and stories about colonoscopies all day if need be, but...

Serious PSA:

They moved the screening age down to 45 from 50 for an initial colonoscopy, and that's if you're at low to average risk. So if anyone in your family has a history of colon cancer, go earlier.

No one knows if it's the standard American diet, or environmental factors, but more and more people are having more and more polyps that more often are coming back positive. Colon cancer is on the rise.

MONEY SAVING TIPS:

Most people can go to an out patient facility and it's cheaper, and safe, so long as you're not a very ill individual.

For the prep: Miralax, or a generic, with gatorade works as well as some of the other more expensive preps. The new pill prep works IF (IF!) you drink adequate water with it. Don't eat after taking your prep. That's dumb. Also, some gastroenterologists don't like red or purple gatorade as it may discolor the colon enough to wonder what they're looking at (blood? vs gatorade).

Ensure you finish your prep more than a few hours prior to your colonoscopy. I don't care what you read on the internet, or from some printed instructions, you need to have finished the prep more than 4 hours before your procedure. Eight hours is even better, especially if you are diabetic or obese. You do NOT want to aspirate during the procedure from a few ounces of prep and water in your stomach.

Here's an insurance oddity: if you do the Cologuard stool exam and your insurance pays for it and it comes back positive, you MAY have to pay for a colonoscopy to find out if there really is a polyp / cancer. Ergo, I do NOT recommend cologuard since if it's positive you still need a colonoscopy. Some insurance companies may pay for a scope after a positive cologuard, but a lot will not.

Lastly, if you did the prep but you're still dropping solids let the providers know. Rule of stool: if you can see the bottom of the toilet bowl through the crap you just pushed out, no matter the color, you're probably ok. If the liquid stool is green or yellow or slightly dark but is not opaque, that should be good. (No one hold me to this, your GI guy/gal may be different). But if there are any big solids or a lot of small solid, let them know... Here's why: the insurance companies like to only pay for one (1) scope. If you get into the procedure room, get anesthesia and they start the scope and find stool / solids in your rectum and sigmoid etc, most good GI docs will abort the procedure. It's not worth the risk to "push through" stool. And if the case is aborted for "poor prep" the insurance company will still get billed and pay for that aborted procedure. So when you come back a week or a month later, you'll be on the hook for the whole bill. Again, YMMV.

They say that laughter is the best medicine. They are wrong. Propofol is.
 
🦣.... ... .. .. . . . . ......... ............. ...... ...... ... That you!!??.......Well judging from the size of those tracks...... .... .. . . . . .. .
 
The one I had before this latest one was an adventure... about 10 years ago...
When I was just beginning to have serious prostate swelling.
Waiting my turn to be scoped, couldn't pee, lot of pain, urethra pinched closed. Owweeee. Thankfully, my urologist's office was only a few blocks away. Told the nurse to hold my place, raced to other doc's office, got a crash course in self-catheritization, and a bag of assorted catheters to try. Got back in time for my roto-rooter. All clear, yaaay!
Then came about a month of self-cathing 5-6 times daily, with occasional uti's, 'til I got tired of that and had the prostate trimmed.
 
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