Ordering a Pizza in 2023

[greg vess]

Ordering a Pizza in 2023
CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
Welcome to the future 🤖

Did they happen to know about your prep medication? 🤣🤣🤣

 

[sniper22]

Ordering a Pizza in 2023
CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
Welcome to the future 🤖

This is the most accurate prediction we will ever see come to realization!

 

[keith089]

Wow

 

[Smoothrj]

Went by Dominos last night cause there phone wasn’t working…they wanted 40 dollars for a supreme and a 2 topping medium…no thanks

 

[dhal22]

You have done yourself a favor.
I honestly don't know how any human can consume whatever that product is that Lil Ceasear's sells.

McDonald's, burger King, little Ceasars and many more, all rot gut food.

 

[basstracker89]

Went by Dominos last night cause there phone wasn’t working…they wanted 40 dollars for a supreme and a 2 topping medium…no thanks

Maybe if enough start walking away the price will start coming down

 

[HERMET]

McDonald's, burger King, little Ceasars and many more, all rot gut food.

It's all bad, I had to run around today gathering up stuff for a few more days of roughing it until hopefully they get the power back on.
I stopped at Chic-Filet and had a sandwich and and a fry. After finishing my dinner I was talking to the other seasoned citizen next to me and we both agreed that the food used to be better.
I honestly believe that they don't even try anymore.

 

[THREEJAYS]

My brother and I were talking about this very thing yesterday. The hill has eyes

 

[bigboy851]

That's the darn TRUTH!!

 

[MaryamBello]

Sorry to hear about your rough day, that sounds like a pizza-less nightmare! And yeah, I get the feeling about fast-food places not hitting the same notes as they used to. It's a bummer when the magic fades. On a brighter note, have you tried Restaurant BODA? Found restaurant near me, and it's become my little haven for good eats. They've got this pizza that's like a flavor explosion – totally changed my outlook on pizza nights. Plus, the ambiance is cozy. Maybe it'll be your oasis in this culinary desert!