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PTSD

Tazz said:
One other thing, for the longest time I thought only combat Veterans would suffer from PTSD but that’s actually not the case. Even civilians can have it. This is the first time I think I’ve ever said anything about it except to my wife but after losing my Mom in 2018 it hit me like a ton of bricks. Not because we were close because the first 58 years of my life I couldn’t get along with her for anything, even went through a few years without even speaking on several occasions. The last year & a half of her life we had actually buried the hatchet and tried to be civil with each other, that made her death hurt 100 times worse. She died in my home with me holding her hand. She had been married and divorced eight freakin’ times, threw me out and disowned me when I was 12 years old. Then I got shipped off to military school, I tried to reconnect with her on summer break but it only lasted two weeks before she threw me out again. We wouldn’t speak again until I was 16. She wasn’t just an alcoholic but she was a mean drunk too. Once she actually called on my birthday when I was in my 30’s but not to talk to me but to tell my wife what a POS I was. Another two years we didn’t speak. My Granddad got Alzheimers and dementia that lasted 3 years before he passed, I was the last person he could recognize as not being an imposter. He had asked for me and I was on my way to take him a Thanksgiving meal in ‘85 but passed like 5 minutes before I could get to him. That absolutely crushed me. Then my Grandmother got throat cancer and passed about 10 minutes before I could get to her in ‘89. Then in ‘94 my Dad’s youngest brother passed when we were visiting my Dad in Tennessee. One of his neighbors had left a message that they couldn’t get him to answer to phone or the door but the tv was still playing pretty loud so I hauled ass to his house and found him dead of heart failure. In ‘98 my Dad died with me holding him after the ventilator was turned off. My wife was diagnosed with MS in ‘03, had 3 heart attacks in ‘17 & ‘18. My youngest went to war in ‘08, my oldest almost died in ‘06 from undiagnosed type1 diabetes at age 26, his blood sugar measured at 1239, they gave him between a 10 & 15% chance of living through the night. When I lost my dog to cancer the very week the scamdemic hit, the Vet had to come to my house to euthanize him with me holding him. That was about all I could take, losing him put me in a downward spiral I couldn’t get out of by myself. I was at the back doctor when I just lost it and broke down in tears. Four different psychiatrists and psychologists didn’t help me one bit, they were all females, did NOT understand men and three weren’t even American, everything they prescribed just made it worse. I was having night terrors from the meds when I could actually sleep so then I was afraid to sleep. The last one said I had severe depression, severe anxiety and PTSD. I told her I could’ve told you that **** lady except for the PTSD. I didn’t think civilians could even have that, but she said from everything I’ve been through in my life (and I left out a lot of crap cause I still can’t talk about it) that yes even regular folks can have it and not know because they think only the people who’ve seen combat can have PTSD. I hate the meds, the so called one on one therapy and I DO NOT do group therapy except on this site because I’m pretty sure you guys ain’t gonna ridicule me or just blow me off. My dog Finlay died in March 2020 but I got another one from the shelter in May, I was at a point where I wasn’t gonna make it another month without something drastic happening first. This little angel of a dog literally saved my life, man I just pray she outlives me. My wife made this sign for me after getting Dixie…

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And this is Dixie, the little rascal who’s keeping me alive right now, she’s my constant companion….


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Well said Tazz Tazz And not taking anything away from our brave soldiers who clearly have gone through what many of us who didn't serve can even comprehend. Civilians can experience it too. 'nuff said...
 
karlvv30 said:
I got out of rehab August 6th. Sober 68 days now. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I feel better than I have in years. Self medicating kills way too many of us.
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Right on. Thankfully I was never much of a drinker hated hangovers. But smoking cigarettes will be my undoing.
 
Mythical Beast Forge said:
Anyone have trouble watching war movies from their era? I watched American Sniper about a week ago and I had to stop the movie and do something else at least 8 times. I didn’t have that issue when I watched it a couple years ago but I was also still AD.

Not sure if it’s related but I have a feeling it probably is.
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It's not so much the war movies that bother me, it's the scenes in those movies with military funerals. I can't watch those.
 
karlvv30 said:
I got out of rehab August 6th. Sober 68 days now. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I feel better than I have in years. Self medicating kills way too many of us.
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How much weight have you lost? I cut way back on beer and lost about 20 pounds. It's funny because I grab a bowl of ice cream, instead of a beer at night, and still lose weight. I guess it's because I just have 1 bowl of ice cream vs 4 or 5 beers.
 
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