so, the wife wants a kid next year.

[johnweaver]

Taking your kids hunting, fishing, camping, and to the rifle range, will be the most fun that a guy can have. My grown daughters got me a membership to the local indoor range for Christmas this year. I get to buy them guns for their Christmas presents. I love it when they call me, "Daddy"!!!

 

[MacTavish]

Originally Posted by atljetmech Secretly get snipped then after years of trying tell the 'ol lady it just wasn't meant to be!


F That. Ain't no one getting close to my cash and prizes with anything razor sharp.

Getting snipped is easy and 90% painless. The final result is a blank shooter with no regrets.

 

[MsInbonuscivis]

First question I would have is why get married unless you plan kids? Second would be, Major decision that should have been discussed way before marriage. Third I would set attainable goals, finances, home, and realize having a child is the greatest responsibility you will ever take on..Just sayin, good luck in whatever decision you make, and hope it works out, for the both of you..DD

1. Not all married couples want children but would rather enjoy the company of each other on a daily basis under the institution of marriage. Plus there are some couples that even after discussing at length that they want children and have been trying for an inordinate amount of time to start a family but have not gotten pregnant, they are still married but they can't have kids. So this is a moot point. Not all marriages are destined to produce an army.
2. Having in kids in general should be discussed, but a definitive timeline of WHEN is not something that necessarily needs to be broached before walking down the aisle. Life can get in the way and either put kids in your life sooner than expected or it may prolong the decision to start a family.
3. Yes, set goals. When kids come into the picture, obviously those goals shift. This should be an ongoing conversation, not something set in stone.

Coming from someone who HAS been married and as the female and the one NOT pushing to start a family right away, I'm glad I was selfish in that moment in deciding to not have children right away because we are now divorced (it's a great thing for me, don't care how he feels because the inability of his junior member to stay caged was the basis of our divorce). Yes, children are great, but I am incredibly happy that I am NOT tied to my ex-husband for the next 18 years of my life..............


And that being said, those who say there is no "right" time to have children are correct. I have many friends who have children and while they rave about how their little babes are the greatest joys of their lives, they also say they sometimes envy their non-parent friends because they can't be selfish and do the same things. But have a discussion with the wifey. Be completely honest and let her know how you feel. Kids and when you want to start a family should be a mutual decision between the two of you. You are both young and have many years ahead of you. You should both be on the same page and when you are, you'll be ready. No, not financially because kids are expensive (my parents still spend money on me on occasion lol) but I can see the pure love and joy that has washed over my parent friends when they look at their kids which apparently is an indescribable feeling. They are great and yes, I look forward to having them some day, but right now, I'm alright with playing with their kids and giving them back. I just recommend y'all keep the lines of communication open and not force one another into anything. Coming from a failed marriage, communication is an absolute necessity.

 

[kmaxwell3]

If you "wait" until you think you can afford to have a kid, then you will never have one. Just do it!

What he said^^^^^^

 

[drsmile]

Do it. life is better with kids; gives you perspective on what life is about and provides a completeness to your being(corny but true). I have 2 young ones and I'm over 40. I wish we started earlier and had 6 or more. Your selfishness and fear will all go away. Nothing like a little one running to greet you when get home. The cohesion kids bring to a family is unimaginable. Beware-your dogs will no longer be important. You'll be a good dad simply because you are responsible enough to be asking these questions.

 

[hikingthehills]

There is no good time and you will never be ready! Just remember that!!! But having my little girl has changed my life for the better in more than a million ways!

 

[Hayata]

You think you love your wife?

You'll never know how much you could love someone until you have children.

Good luck!