• ODT Gun Show this Saturday! - Click here for info and tickets!

The Sandcrab and the Lobster.....

Dingo

Wolf Icon
Navigating the space time continuum
7   0
Joined
Dec 4, 2015
Messages
22,586
Reaction score
77,373
Location
Australia
The sandcrab and the lobster were the best and closest of friends living at the bottom of the ocean. They were practically inseparable, which explains how they both got caught in a lobster trap together and died together.

Lobster found himself at the Gates of Heaven talking to Saint Peter.

"Lobster, welcome to Eternity. Here you will be eternally happy before God."

Lobster was overwhelmed by the glorious sights, but one thought crept in, "St Peter, I am overjoyed to be allowed the glories of the Kingdom of Heaven, but where is my best friend Sandcrab, I wish to be with him at this happy time."

St Peter looking a bit puzzled, started paging through a large book. After a few minutes he closed that book and pulled out an even larger, thicker black book. Finally he stopped and stabbed at the page, "Ah-ha! Sandcrab is in Hell".

"Hell?" asked Lobster, incredulously. "There must be some mistake, Sandcrab and I were together all the time. How could I and not..."

St Peter cut him off, "Apparently Sandcrab had an impure thought and committed adultery. Please, Sandcrab is not worthy of you or of this place. Take pleasure in all of the glory."

"Can I at least visit Sandcrab and say goodbye?" said Lobster.

A horrified St Peter responded, "Of course not! You cannot visit Hell, you are in heaven. Please Lobster go get your robe, wings, and harp and take refuge in the beauty which awaits you."

Lobster acquiesced to St Peter, but he remained despondent and sad, despite being in Heaven and all it promised. He frequently requested the opportunity to visit his friend Sandcrab. Each time St Peter rebuffed him. Lobster's depression was so extreme that it became contagious and others in Heaven were not enjoying the afterlife.
Eventually God heard of this and summoned St Peter.
"Peter, what is wrong with Lobster he is depressing everybody?"
And St Peter explained.
"Did you tell him it was not reasonable to go to Hell once you had attained Heaven?" And St Peter explained that he had.
"Then I guess we must make an exception, under the circumstances and under certain conditions..." and God explained to St Peter what St Peter explained to Lobster.

"Lobster you may go to Hell to visit your friend, Sandcrab. However, you must return before the clock strikes twelve, you must not damage or lose your three Holy possessions: your robe, your wings, or your harp. Do you understand?"

"Oh yes, yes, thank you! Thank you!" and with that Lobster rushed down to Hell to visit Sandcrab.

When he got there he was startled to see Sandcrab running a disco. People were dancing and drinking and it was dark so Larry could not find Sandcrab right away. Then from behind he heard "Lobster is that you? I thought you were in Heaven?"

Lobster turned around and saw his old friend Sandcrab dressed to the nines, "Sandcrab I just came to visit and to finally say goodbye."

The two of them talked and reminisced for hours. Lobster was enjoying himself immensely having fun and partying and totally oblivious to the time when Sandcrab said "You had better go, it is almost time"

"But I want to stay here..."

"No Lobster, this is not your place. There are things here I won't mention. Go back to Heaven and be happy."

So with tears in their eyes and sobbing they said their last good-byes.

Lobster rushed up to Heaven and reached the Gates just as the clock struck twelve.

St Peter was waiting. "Lobster, you barely made it," said St Peter.

"I know but I..."

"And your robe is filthy, " said a disgusted St Peter.

"I can explain, you see..."

"And your wings! One is ripped and the other has practically fallen off," chastised St Peter.

"Funny you should mention that, because..."

"And your harp, Lobster, where is your harp?" asked a disappointed St Peter.

"Oh dear," answered Lobster............. "I left my harp in Sandcrab's Disco."
 
Back
Top Bottom