Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Little Johnny. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
Another Lil Johnny one
- Thread starter Dave550
- Start date
now that’s funny!
Little Johnny is in class and the teacher says she will say a letter of the alphabet and the students must use it in a word that begins with the letter and use it in a sentence.
The teachers says A. Little Johnny raises his hand but she picks Tommy who says “Apples..I love fresh fall apples”.
Then the teachers say P. Little Johnny is jumping up and down but the teacher thinks NO WAY and picks Susie who says “Peaches..I love summer peaches”.
The teacher then says R. Little Johnny is going crazy and the teacher pauses but can’t think of a dirty word that begins with R so she picks Little Johnny who says “RATS! Big MFing rats with dicks a foot long!”
The teachers says A. Little Johnny raises his hand but she picks Tommy who says “Apples..I love fresh fall apples”.
Then the teachers say P. Little Johnny is jumping up and down but the teacher thinks NO WAY and picks Susie who says “Peaches..I love summer peaches”.
The teacher then says R. Little Johnny is going crazy and the teacher pauses but can’t think of a dirty word that begins with R so she picks Little Johnny who says “RATS! Big MFing rats with dicks a foot long!”
