at what point do you stop living and just survive

[markj]

Could be all or none of the above. I think it's when ya lose the will to live that ya stop living and just survive.
Nick T

I think this is a big part of it Nick, regardless of physical or mental dissability, the will has to be there.

Rdkill, Good stuff in there thanks.

 

[B. Byrd]

I am a nurse currently working in a nursing home(going back to school in August). I see quite a bit of this. It is sad but more sad for the family than the patient. Dementia may actually be a blessing. As the brain atrophies/deteriorates, cognition goes with it. They become less and less worried about their own mortality, those they are leaving behind and their disease. While confusion and short term memory loss may seem very frustrating, it's not usually all their frustrating for them. It gets VERY frustrating for family and caregivers, especially for those that don't have prior experience observing the disease process. By the time death approaches, they usually have no idea what is going on and they pass on quietly and relatively peacefully. Think about it. Would you rather be sharp as a tack while laying there struggling for your last breath and know you are dying? Another thing I have noticed, is at some point in dementia, a lot of people revert back to some point in life decades ago. This is when they are often looking for someone who was probably around at the age they have reverted to. It's not unusual to have 90+ year old patients looking for Momma or Daddy. Children that died young are also often sought after while living children are often forgotten. Living children are often confused for passed spouses. This could be a timeline thing with regression. Perhaps a 45 year old son looks just like hubby did 45 years ago or whenever the regression landed. Behaviors like biting usually turn out to be some adverse effect of medication. Some of those meds will chill most people out but cause a few to go berserk. Halidol, Geodon, Seroquel, Ativan etc...very sedating for most...opposite effect with added unpredictable behaviors rarely but often enough for others!

So, the question that haunts me...Are they losing their mind, or are they finding their memories?

Very touching and very interesting. Thank you.

 

[woodstock]

Sorry about your grandmother.

My mother had dementia(alzheimers) for years before passing due to health issues recently. Its difficult( a completely inadequate term) for everyone involved.
A support group would be helpful.

 

[Cobalt 60]

Guys and Gals - make sure you express your wishes on matters of end of life medical care while you can. Do a Georgia Advance Healthcare Directive!

 

[rugerceltics13]

dakota, u are a good man. my wife's grandfather had all sorts of ailments. he couldn't recognize his own prosthetic legs that he got during ww2. he died 3 yrs ago and it was a relief for everybody. he literally took 22 pills every single day up until he died

if it was up to me, i'd be dead way b4 i'd have to take any big a mount of pills for pain

 

[Alphacpa]

I am a nurse currently working in a nursing home(going back to school in August). I see quite a bit of this. It is sad but more sad for the family than the patient. Dementia may actually be a blessing. As the brain atrophies/deteriorates, cognition goes with it. They become less and less worried about their own mortality, those they are leaving behind and their disease. While confusion and short term memory loss may seem very frustrating, it's not usually all their frustrating for them. It gets VERY frustrating for family and caregivers, especially for those that don't have prior experience observing the disease process. By the time death approaches, they usually have no idea what is going on and they pass on quietly and relatively peacefully. Think about it. Would you rather be sharp as a tack while laying there struggling for your last breath and know you are dying? Another thing I have noticed, is at some point in dementia, a lot of people revert back to some point in life decades ago. This is when they are often looking for someone who was probably around at the age they have reverted to. It's not unusual to have 90+ year old patients looking for Momma or Daddy. Children that died young are also often sought after while living children are often forgotten. Living children are often confused for passed spouses. This could be a timeline thing with regression. Perhaps a 45 year old son looks just like hubby did 45 years ago or whenever the regression landed. Behaviors like biting usually turn out to be some adverse effect of medication. Some of those meds will chill most people out but cause a few to go berserk. Halidol, Geodon, Seroquel, Ativan etc...very sedating for most...opposite effect with added unpredictable behaviors rarely but often enough for others!

So, the question that haunts me...Are they losing their mind, or are they finding their memories?

The memories are always with us just filed away in the super computer called the human brain. Remember the phrase "I saw my life pass before my eyes"? This is real and sometimes experienced in death or near death situations. It is my understanding that your brain is searching for a solution to the problem and is going through all the memory banks because it does not want to die!!! Lots of good studies on this for those interested. I prefer lighter reading though.

 

[57tr6]

When you don't know who you are. When you don't know who anyone else is or where you are or where you've been or where youre going ....or if you have eaten, or if you have messed yourself, or if it is day,or night... That was pretty much the way my father-in-law was when he died at home May 10th last year. We took care of him four years. Up until the last month I would say his life was worth living. The last month was just dying. He didn't give up easy.

 

[dakota port]

When you don't know who you are. When you don't know who anyone else is or where you are or where you've been or where youre going ....or if you have eaten, or if you have messed yourself, or if it is day,or night... That was pretty much the way my father-in-law was when he died at home May 10th last year. We took care of him four years. Up until the last month I would say his life was worth living. The last month was just dying. He didn't give up easy.

it is the truth no matter how bad the human body or brain gets, i find people maintain a certain will to live even in a horrible situation or bad health

 

[57tr6]

it is the truth no matter how bad the human body or brain gets, i find people maintain a certain will to live even in a horrible situation or bad health

One of the last things he did was try and get his boots on. He wore boots everyday. He said he had to go and work.

 

[LR Max]

"Living" and "Surviving" are only applicable if you haven't lost your mind. If you've lost your mind, then you simply exist.

Having said that, surviving is when you worry about what is going to happen to you in the next 30 minutes. Living is planning on what your doing over a day or more (depending on your lifestyle).

Surviving is being immobile due to the 5000 tubes coming out of your body while you lay scared in the head and neck ICU. Wondering when the next doctor is going to come in and poke you with something or wonder if this is the last time they push you into the elevator.

What you've described seems to be more "existing". You aren't surviving nor living really. But you are just there. My aunt is that way. She is just there. You look into her eyes and the lights are on but no one is home. Extremely sad.