I wonder how long you pondered such a glorious collection of words and quotes. I hath read this post of gest. I am indeed amused by your banter in the Queens proper English. May a thousand flees infest your pubic regions and eat! 🤣This thread needs an Old English version of this post:
Lo! He doth parley with yon servitor of Rainier Arms, discoursing most gravely upon the wretched barrel. Verily, the agent proclaimeth, “Aye, ‘tis not of our noble standard, nor doth it strike true!” Straightway he carrieth the grievance unto their High Gunsmith, that wizard of steel and fire, for judgment and remedy. With all their might they strive to set the matter aright, and he awaiteth anon a herald’s call from the House of Rainier.
I, for mine own part, have already trod the path of every possibility, yet the truth is plain: the man hath been cursed with a most ill-fortuned barrel. Ne’er before hath mine eye beheld such, for all mine own Rainier tubes shooteth nigh unto half a Minute of Arc or better—aye, bullets kissing bullets, holes within holes, a merry dance of lead. Three barrels have I summoned these past two years, and each one singeth the same sweet tune. Nay more! I wrought a 6mm Arc for a good companion, and behold—it too maketh but one ragged hole with three-shot salvos. Forsooth, Rainier useth Shilen blanks, so the potential is as vast as the heavens. ‘Tis but this one barrel that hath gone astray. Though he hath wooed it with ten diverse ammunitions, only one answereth kindly, and that is most unworthy of Rainier’s vaunted Ultra Match lineage. Yet I doubt not they shall straighten it forthwith.
Indeed, upon the first lament from the range, I myself dispatched a missive to Rainier Arms, declaring his displeasure. To their great honor, they didst not tarry, but reached out to him unbidden. Truly, their service to the customer exceedeth measure, and methinks they go above and beyond, as knights sworn to uphold the good name of their House.


