Cooking Bloopers

[InTune]

HAHAHAHA!!!! I think we've all done that before realizing that we forgot to dust the peel with some corn meal.

I had dusted it but let it set on the peel too long. I use parchment paper now

 

[rOmiLaYu]

I had dusted it but let it set on the peel too long. I use parchment paper now

This is the way.


When my wife and I first married, I remember waking up to the smoke detector beeping one Saturday morning. I panicked, jumped up and noticed the wife wasn't in bed. Ran out into the hall and smelled the smoke. There was a pot on the stove that was just belching black smoke into the air. I grabbed it and took it outside on the porch.

I turned off the detector, opened up all the doors and windows and eventually found my wife in the shower. She had made grits she said. One cup of water, one cup of grits. On high. For twenty minutes. "That's how long you said to cook them, right?"

 

[mfoster]

Back in dranken days at hunting camp—— we got a bright idea of rotisseriing a wild hog.we skinned and gutted hog then ran the winch cable thru the center, and connected to a tree across from the fire pit.about every hour we would turn it while playing cards.about 4 am we all decided to load the fire and go to bed.when we got up around 11 that hog was black as smut.we proberly had about 3 inches in the middle of the driest pork I ever had.

 

[rhaney02]

When I bought my first stick burner, I FOOLISHLY tried to cook some ribs with mesquite. LOL, what the **** did I know? I had to toss them. Couldn't be eaten. Terrible. I never use mesquite now, only some fruit wood or hickory for smoke and that rarely more than the first two hours of the cook.

Reminds me of a story some friends told about a pig cook at Long Creek. They got to "toking" and decided to put 100lbs of charcoal in a travel cooker (200 gallon oil tank type, on wheels) and lit it with the pig inside. Closed the lid. Hilarity ensues when they can't get close enough to the handle to open it, too hot, no welding gloves. They had to cut down a sapling tree to use as an opener for lifting the lid. Melted and flattened the tires too.

The skin looked like a victim of a nuclear blast, the meat was tender and delicious though.

Same guys would take a 55 gallon barrel and fill it 1/3rd full of cooking oil, fire up the burner underneath then dump a 25lb box of chicken wings in it to fry.

Used mesquite the first time I ever tried smoking ribs. Never again.

 

[joel2000]

Used mesquite the first time I ever tried smoking ribs. Never again.

Same here. Used it once many years ago and never since.

 

[rhaney02]

Same here. Used it once many years ago and never since.

They were so awful, the dog didn't want them.

 

[MrJim]

I had 3 filets to cook for us. Lit the egg and had steaks on the table. Waiting for it to get up to high temp I went into get something. Wife started talking and I got delayed. Came out to a empty plate. My dog had eat all 3 raw. This is him after the deed.

 

[drewga11]

I was baking a cake a few months back and completely forgot to add baking powder and salt. Needless to say, the cake didn't rise at all and I ended up throwing the whole thing in the trash.

As for the dog getting stuff, a few years ago I had fried 3 lbs of deer cube steak and had it all piled up on a plate on the counter. I went down the hall to take a leak and came back to find the plate on the floor and all of the cube steak gone. Never heard a sound and was gone less than minute. Another time she took a large cast iron skillet with 3/4 of a jalapeno cornbread off the counter without a sound and ate all of it. I still haven't figured out how she got that cast iron skillet to the floor without making a noise.

 

[palmettomoon]

Used mesquite the first time I ever tried smoking ribs. Never again.

Same here. Used it once many years ago and never since.

Further PROOF that Texicans know **** all about barbeque.

 

[BillsCamino]

Further PROOF that Texicans know **** all about barbeque.

And Chili !!!!
Beans, beans...the magical fruit........