Damn near got a DUI on my mower

I called the county commissioner who lives about 2 miles from me. This dude is a new hire from southern Oklahoma. I live in north central. It used to be that the only deputies they hired were local boys who knew every road and everyone's second cousin. The CC said he is trying to prove himself by being a hard ass and making several contacts with people breaking the law. I told the CC to send him after some kiddie diddler meth head not the clipping blowing mower guy.

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murphranch said:
I mow the park, the fire station a church and the bar ditches in our little town with a population of 31. Usually ice down a few beers on Sunday and get after it. Takes me 4-5 hours to do it all with a 72 inch Hustler. Last Sunday while mowing I had blown the clippings onto the state highway. I always go back the other direction and blow them back off when done, usually with the help of a leaf blower. I went to cross the highway to the park when a county deputy pulled in and started telling me it’s against the law to leave the clippings on the road. I agreed with him and told him that was my final cleanup action when done. He immediately started telling me in a loud voice that weekends were for the motorcycle riders. That’s when they ride and those grass clippings were too dangerous. It was at this point he noticed the corona bottle in my cup holder on the mower. He asked me if I’ve been drinking today and I told him I had. He asked how many beers I’ve had today and I told him I don’t keep track. It was at this time he told me to “shut the engine off and step off the mower. “ I thought he was jerking my chain until he asked my name and called me into dispatch. Once again he told me to get off the mower. I’m thinking you got to be kidding me. Where’s the prank dudes at that come out and say “you got pranked”? They never showed up. So there I was standing next to the road doing the stupid human tricks because of a beer on my mower. And I passed them with flying colors. Hey I’ll admit I was driving a motor vehicle on a State and county road(only to cross it)while in possession of and or consuming alcoholic beverages and that’s against the law, but I wasn’t done with mowing and blowing clippings, also there might be 1 or 2 motorcycles come through here every month and to top it off I do it all for free because I like to see our little bitty town look nice. He let me go with 2 warnings and another ass chewing. I’d hate to have seen what would’ve happened it I had to do the breathalyzer because I would’ve failed that one.


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You could have been like George Jones.
 
murphranch said:
I mow the park, the fire station a church and the bar ditches in our little town with a population of 31. Usually ice down a few beers on Sunday and get after it. Takes me 4-5 hours to do it all with a 72 inch Hustler. Last Sunday while mowing I had blown the clippings onto the state highway. I always go back the other direction and blow them back off when done, usually with the help of a leaf blower. I went to cross the highway to the park when a county deputy pulled in and started telling me it’s against the law to leave the clippings on the road. I agreed with him and told him that was my final cleanup action when done. He immediately started telling me in a loud voice that weekends were for the motorcycle riders. That’s when they ride and those grass clippings were too dangerous. It was at this point he noticed the corona bottle in my cup holder on the mower. He asked me if I’ve been drinking today and I told him I had. He asked how many beers I’ve had today and I told him I don’t keep track. It was at this time he told me to “shut the engine off and step off the mower. “ I thought he was jerking my chain until he asked my name and called me into dispatch. Once again he told me to get off the mower. I’m thinking you got to be kidding me. Where’s the prank dudes at that come out and say “you got pranked”? They never showed up. So there I was standing next to the road doing the stupid human tricks because of a beer on my mower. And I passed them with flying colors. Hey I’ll admit I was driving a motor vehicle on a State and county road(only to cross it)while in possession of and or consuming alcoholic beverages and that’s against the law, but I wasn’t done with mowing and blowing clippings, also there might be 1 or 2 motorcycles come through here every month and to top it off I do it all for free because I like to see our little bitty town look nice. He let me go with 2 warnings and another ass chewing. I’d hate to have seen what would’ve happened it I had to do the breathalyzer because I would’ve failed that one.


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BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
 
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