Barbarians at the gate. Prairie doggin'. Turtle headin'.
I call them cold sweat, white knuckle knee knockers when I'm driving. I have been almost horizontal in the cab of my pickup trying to make it home. I stretched my whole body out straight so I wasn't in the sitting position. Very difficult driving that way.
These are the times my ringmeat starts snapping and spasming. I call it contractions. I tell the wife better call the midwife cause I'm about 4cm dilated over here. Better draft a birth certificate, because I'm gonna name this one.
Took a "too much draught beer" diarrhea dump off a phone pole once. About 25 feet up. Thank (insert your favorite divinity here) I was out in a rural area with no traffic below.