Dont do what I did!!

[Joker82]

Not trying to sound like an ass or anything but, child support for 5 kids, and the fact that she could get alimony? Dude, you're ****ed!

 

[DMGun]

I just wanted to share with you a cautionary tale about this obsession I have and this website My wife and I have been married for almost 15 years and she has given me 5 children and is six months pregnant. In the course of our marriage I have spent an inordinate amount of time on my hobbies. she has homeschooled our children, so she gets almost no adult interaction during the day. Time that I should have spent on her, I spent on my own selfish pursuits.

When we were first married, I left my young wife alone far out on the woods at the trailer we lived in so that I could go on hunting trips out of state with my buddies. She cried and begged me not to go because she was scared to be out there alone and did not feel safe. I went anyway. Aside from the fact she was a mental wreck and hadn't slept since I left she was ok. None of her fears of rapist or trailer fires had happened but despite that she spent three miserable days alone while I was with no phone for her to reach me had some thing actually happened.

There was also the time I drug her along with our four year old and new born son to sit in a hunting camp for new years. She had just had a c section and was still recovering from the surgery, but I wanted to hunt. Her option was to stay home alone or go with me. So she came and I spent the whole week hunting and she spent the whole week cooking and cleaning for every one there. She was tired and in pain, but I was doing what I loved and that was all that mattered to me.

There were other trips that I used our vacation time on for her to wait on me I while I played in the woods. Never once asking her what she wanted to do. It has been 2 years since such a trip, but for three months out of the year I still eat up all my free time pursuing my hunting obsession. Every weekend my wife who is alone with the kids all day gets none of the attention she is so desperate for. Every night I get on this and other websites and waste the time that I should be devoting to her talking back and forth with a bunch of stranger's.

Other things have happened in our marriage that have completely erased her trust that none exists where I am concerned. A few weeks ago I made some post's about lap dances and strippers. I meant them as a joke, but didn't take into account that my wife would ever see them or how she would feel if she did. Well she saw them because this website has gotten so much of my attention over the years she understandably wanted to know what I was really up to. So she went into my account and there they were. It devastated her. She is angry and humiliated that I could talk that way. That when I don't think she is looking I act like some one else.

This small act was just the straw that broke the camel's back and now she's saying 15 years of this is enough and she is ready to leave. I cant say I blame her. In all this time she has devoted her life to me and our children. She has gone with out in every circumstance so that I could be happy. In turn I hurt and embarrassed her. treated her like a commodity and put my own happiness above hers in everything. So now I am looking at the possibility of not having her all for some thing stupid and pointless. So my advice to all of you is get out of the woods and off of the computer. Buy her something sparkly and expensive, take her out dancing, give her all of your time and attention. My dad made the same mistakes and now he is all alone with the free time in the world but trust me having her is a hell of a lot better than freezing alone in a deer stand and coming home to a cold bed. With this I want to say to her I am sorry I hurt you.

Sounds like you have have identified the problem - now log off and take care of the family you created. Explain to her that you get it (Finally) and will change.

Male - accident of birth, Adult Male - matter of time, MAN = Operational term that describes an Adult Male that takes care of his responsibilities...

 

[kmaxwell3]

LMAO! Yeah shes done went and corrected his post! Heck man make her a account and tell her to join in the conversation. ODT Marriage Counseling

I know she did. I know people will say what that want to about my post here. That's fine I can take it. Thanks for the post guys. I am seeing it in a different light now. Hopefully I can make it right with her. I have been very selfish in my life and have not treated her the way she deserved.

 

[mikey357]

Sad story, but may be good to share these regrets with her and not here. Hope and pray you can keep your family together. This took a lot of time to develop, it will take a lot of time to heal. Best wishes for you.

^^^Best Reply Yet!^^^

 

[The Appalachian]

Show your sincerity by deleting ODT account.

 

[TresMonos]

Someone should have done that to your parents.

Tsk-Tsk...what happened to turn the other cheek?

 

[Trouble]

http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/couples.php

Easy fix. done it , helped others do it. Your heart just has to be in it.

 

[kmaxwell3]

Show your sincerity by deleting ODT account.

Don't know how to?

 

[strider12]

Tsk-Tsk...what happened to turn the other cheek?

If you're not a brother what the hell do you know?

The devil quotes scripture too.

 

[GeauxLSU]

Ha! Regarding the post edits, the woman raised (apparently mostly single handedly) 5 kids, has #6 on the way (with the requisite hormones and stress that accompanies that), homeschools all of them, and has put up with a self admitted selfish ____ (fill in the blank) this long and yet she STILL maintains a sense of humor? Yep... she's a keeper and THEN some.
As the father of just ONE and realizing all that entails.... Kmax... GET ... IT... FIXED!