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I know I'm going to be called one of the "poors" but

Never tried Alpo so I wouldn't know. Are you guessing or speaking from experience?
I had a roommate in Germany who decided to live off wet dog food in garrison because he didn't want to walk to the chow hall in winter. I walked in and he was eating it straight out of the can. Backed out, gathered witnesses, and returned. He let me know later he didn't stop because we made fun of him. He said "the gravy was too rich and I didn't think I could keep it down." I wonder what that man is doing today.
 
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