I need new jokes…

[Just Plain Bill]

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window

 

[InTune]

Told mine jus last night what tossed salad meant in prison. She is still laughing. I just say it. She's laughing. Good for week maybe

 

[aFarewellToKings]

 

[the_great_white]

The wife told me, so I know it’s true. We’ve been together near 30 years, and she says she’s heard all my stupid jokes. I caught her this morning finishing a joke for me, so it must be true. HELP…..

she had heard them all by year ten, she's just been being nice for the last twenty

 

[WallsGa]

Whaddya call a man with no legs water skiing?
- Skip

Whaddya call a man with no arms and no legs swimming?
- Bob

What do you call a dog with no legs?
- call him whatever you want, he ain’t coming.

 

[fattboyzz]

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

 

[fattboyzz]

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.

 

[fattboyzz]

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?

 

[fattboyzz]

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

 

[fattboyzz]

What rock group has four men who don't sing? Mount Rushmore.