I need new jokes…

[xlr8ngn]

My wife told me the other day, I had to buy her a new diamond ring or a vacation. I bought her a new diamond ring, because you can't buy a fake vacation.

 

[fast306stang]

I wanted a screamer or a moaner at Christmas but I got a sweater

 

[InTune]

Clown. It's eating a CLOWN

That was f'n with my brain all day. Clown gets a blow job. She said it tastes funny. FIFY

 

[Jamescg]

I went to the doctor and he told me my sugar was high, I told him he’s wrong, she’s been sober for 3 weeks now. 🤔

 

[Stomp2012]

I told my wife she needs to embrace her mistakes. So she gave me a hug.

 

[fattboyzz]

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? "Aye, matey!"

 

[bambam]

These jokes are as old as grandma's toes and twice as corny.

 

[bambam]

About as funny as a sliding screen door on a submarine.

 

[bambam]

Well, that one went over about like a fart in a spacesuit.

 

[fattboyzz]

. I bought sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!