Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Berny, Jill, Clinton and Obama supporters, et al:
Because of the constant whining by those who supported the loser of the recent election, I have decided to post this “divorce proposal”. Those who supported the loser of the recent election continue to state that their loser candidate “won the popular vote”. Apparently, they did not read that the election was based on Electoral College votes, and not the popular vote. The Electoral College method of electing the President is in the Constitution, but I guess they were too busy reading about Global warming to read anything in the Constitution. They remind me of an avid football fan who just can’t get over that his/her team lost. The football fan will try and find ways to point out that their team was better, like “we had more total yards than they did” or “we marched up and down the field on them”. Unfortunately for that fan, the winner is decided by the points scored, not by total yards.
Given the fact those that supported the loser of the last election will not stop whining, I propose this divorce agreement.
(I did not write the following, only agree with it)
*Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is our separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, druggies and illegal aliens.
We'll keep the greedy CEO's and rednecks.
We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversize luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda, and any “celebrity” that wanted to go to Canada, Spain or any other country that would have them, with you.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Berny, Jill, Clinton and Obama supporters, et al:
Because of the constant whining by those who supported the loser of the recent election, I have decided to post this “divorce proposal”. Those who supported the loser of the recent election continue to state that their loser candidate “won the popular vote”. Apparently, they did not read that the election was based on Electoral College votes, and not the popular vote. The Electoral College method of electing the President is in the Constitution, but I guess they were too busy reading about Global warming to read anything in the Constitution. They remind me of an avid football fan who just can’t get over that his/her team lost. The football fan will try and find ways to point out that their team was better, like “we had more total yards than they did” or “we marched up and down the field on them”. Unfortunately for that fan, the winner is decided by the points scored, not by total yards.
Given the fact those that supported the loser of the last election will not stop whining, I propose this divorce agreement.
(I did not write the following, only agree with it)
*Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is our separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, druggies and illegal aliens.
We'll keep the greedy CEO's and rednecks.
We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversize luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda, and any “celebrity” that wanted to go to Canada, Spain or any other country that would have them, with you.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
