Redneck sayings. Whatcha got?

[Cryptic]

I see says the blind man as he picks up his hammer and saw.

Grandfather says that. Took me years as a boy to figure it out.

 

[sandcast69]

He's so stupid he could hide his own Easter eggs.

 

[tbro717]

Stoned as a one-winged bat

Busier than a one-legged Indian in a butt kickin contest

 

[JBWJr]

Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive.
Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.
It's colder than a mother-in-law's love.

 

[Stuckon22]

You don't like me, bite me"!

"Funnier than a submarine with screen doors"

"Had to crap in the creek so I would not set the woods on fire"

"I thought my first name was Damnit til I was seven"

"Here use my car keys for that wax in your ears, but wipe them off"

"You ain't wearing that underwear, we might get in a wreck"

"S**t fire fuzzy anne"

 

[ARSteve]

I see says the blind man as he picks up his hammer and saw.

Grandfather says that. Took me years as a boy to figure it out.

I heard it like this: "I see said the blind man, to the deaf dog. Playing poker in the corner with dice."

 

[Air Force Dad]

Uglier than a bulls butt sewed up with barb wire.
That's as dangerous than wiping your butt with a broke bottle.

 

[piratebob64]

I have seen a monkey frig a football and ant move a mountain! but I aint ever seen nothin like that!

Or what my dear old grandad use to say:

Jumpin Jesus Crhist on the cross followed by "you dont know ass from a pisshole in the snow"! He taught me how to cuss at very young age !

 

[darrenmd]

Sorry nothing to add.... but these are making me LMFAO!!!!!!!

 

[212Josh]

As someone not from this neck of the woods I almost fired a staff member after I asked them to do a task and they said " I don't care to" which I later came to find out means " I don't mind if I do". I thought they were saying no. My bad.