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Stimulus Funds

Thread in 'Stupid Stuff' started by Bubbado52, Mar 26, 2020.

  1. Bubbado52

    Bubbado52 ODT Junkie! Supporter

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    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus. It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:


    Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?

    A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


    Q: Where will the government get this money?

    A: From taxpayers.


    Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?

    A: No, only a smidgen of it.


    Q: What is the purpose of this payment?

    A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.


    Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

    A: Shut up.


    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:


    * If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart,the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

    * if you spend it on gasoline, the money will go to the Arabs.

    * if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan, or China.

    * if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

    * if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

    * if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

    * if you pay your credit card off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


    Instead, keep the money in America by:


    (1) Spending it at a yard sale, or

    (2) Going to a ballgame, or

    (3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

    (4) Beer, or

    (5) Tattoos

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)


    CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.


    No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.
     
    BLIP, SamSamson, MacTavish and 16 others like this.
  2. Toothpick

    Toothpick Encrypting all the things Supporter

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    Or buy a nice gun on ODT -- at a decent price though.
     
    HERMET, MacTavish, Poppa Mike and 5 others like this.
  3. Raydog

    Raydog Frontiersman

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    You forgot that greatest of all American products:
    Bacon.jpg
    CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale, drink beer and eat Bacon all day.
     
  4. Rgrbulldog

    Rgrbulldog Faithful Soldier of Christ Supporter

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  5. ole ed

    ole ed Frontiersman

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    Morgan, MuleShoe and Macvan like this.
  6. Macvan

    Macvan The Hen that laid the Golden Legos

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    Damm I ain't gonna get nothing but the bill freaking poor people
     
    TheGman and MuleShoe like this.
  7. MuleShoe

    MuleShoe The Hen that laid the Golden Legos Supporter

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    A loan at the bank would be a whole lot cheaper! You would get to spend all the money! The stimulus will give you $1200 and then taxes will hit you up to pay for a hundred more that got the same check but don’t work!
     
  8. DawgFan023

    DawgFan023 Outdoorsman Supporter

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    What's Disney stock price at now? Lol
     
  9. TheGman

    TheGman The Hen that laid the Golden Legos Supporter

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    me too , not a dime but we will get the bill
     
    Macvan likes this.
  10. BamaFan

    BamaFan The Hen that laid the Golden Legos Supporter

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