It's the backseat cushion of a 1981 Chevrolet Chevette, your first car. You've held on to the red velour keepsake because it means a lot to you. It was the car in which you took Susie Rockington, of Dalton, GA, to your high school prom. The backseat was where both you and Susie lost your virginity. Susie bled like chicken at a voodo festival, but you didn't care because you're a nasty mother******. Your friends begged you to clean it up, but you wouldn't, so instead you had it laminated so your virgin friends could stfu and stop b*****n. I think it's time to let go.
