Country Sayin's.

[lewdog]

Colder than a cast iron commode on the shady side of a iceberg

Madder than a piss ant in a wrestling jacket

So ugly it looks as if there face caught on fire and someone put it out with a ugly stix

if you are goin thru hell dont stop

nuttier than a squirrel turd

 

[BHJ]

So tired I couldn't roll down hill.

Gooder 'n grits.

Tighter 'n a frog pooty and that's water tight.

Put some glass in that pneumonia hole (roll up the window)

You make a better door than you do a window. (move so I can see)

harder 'n hickory

 

[fenderbass07]

Got a face only a mother could love

 

[77REBELBOWTIE]

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. Madder than a wet sittin hen. Dryer than a popcorn fart in the desert. Lost like a fart in a whirl wind.

 

[Wheeler]

I'm sure I'll probably repeat some that have already been posted,

Madder than Hell and don't care who knows it.

Queer as a three dollar bill.

Nervous as a Tomcat on a hot tin roof.

That's for sure and for certain!

Pert near!

She's an ax handle across at the hips!

Purty as a speckled pup.

Looks like he/she got beat with an ugly stick!

God bless 'em!

Oh Lawd!

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed but I AM in the shed!

You can want in one hand and poop in the other and see which gets full first.

As others have said, there are many, many more I just can't remember them.

 

[JOKER]

Boy, your so ugly if I had a dog that looked like you I would shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards!

 

[57tr6]

Tighter than dick's hatband.
Grinnin like a possum.
Sh!! eatin grin.

 

[loadmyown]

It's been so dry around here, I just caught a catfish that had 4 ticks on it.

 

[Tomsrun]

If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's butt when it jumped.

 

[m88dad]

Watch Lizard Lick Towing, that dude only speaks in hillbilly metaphors.

I've always been fond of "Slicker than owl sh*t"