Country Sayin's.

[no clever name]

He's so far out they got to pipe daylight to him

I'm going to do "it" if it hairlips the nation

Try that again boy and I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in your azz and walk it dry

Sit back, shut up and hold on.

His family tree don't fork

He's happier than a pig eating turnips

Hold my beer which is generally followed by

Hey ya'll watch this

Damn son didn't your momma teach you any better than that

 

[bassdaddy00]

That gals as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room fulla rockin chairs

 

[bowdoc]

Keep your back straight and your timber limber,and you'll be a hard man to beat.

 

[Tomsrun]

"Yes, four people can keep a secret if three of them are dead."

 

[(Bruiser)]

Tuff titty said the kitty, but i sure do like the milk!

 

[hilldeputy]

Cold as a witches t*t in a brass bra. Hot as a blistered kitty in a pepper patch.

 

[JC76]

Might have been said but... "skeeters big enough to screw a turkey", "funnier than midgets mud-wrestling",

 

[drtybykr]

That girl is so ugly it looks like someone smacked her in the face with a bag of what the ****.

 

[JOKER]

That smells like a bag full of @$$holes!

 

[Darkdiesel]

Boy you should have been a b*** job.