Country Sayin's.

[A Sojourner]

How about to a coworker: "That sounds about as smart as a football bat" or "That dog won't hunt"

After coworker tells a TMI story you say: "I don't believe I'd told that"

If you are super busy and somebody asks you about it, you say: "my hair's on fire and my ass is a catchin' "

 

[smokie]

Up a hogs ass to get a ham sandwich ,i use alot.

 

[TacticalDonkey69]

It's hotter than a witch's titty in here

 

[LIGHTNINGSTRIKE13]

Boy don't come in with your head all knotty,and your nose all snotty if you don't know ask somebody.

 

[Tomsrun]

I'd like to buy that boy for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth. (refering to someone with an inflated ego)

 

[marinetbryant]

I'm going home and play with the box the kid came in.

If they put your brain in a matchbox it'd be like a BB in a boxcar.

Slicker than snot on a brass doorknob.

 

[hank_hill]

How about "Kick rocks" as in get the hell out of here!

 

[ELI WAITS]

hotter than a fresh f*&ked deer in a forest fire!

I think its a fox instead of a deer.

 

[hu1ip]

I got tired of reading them all so sorry if I copy some:

Sweating like a whore in church
useful as a football bat
Smart in the head as a hog is in the A$$
Hotter than: a blistered P**** in a pepper patch; 2 squirrels F'n in a wool sock
if a frog had a glass a$$, he'd only hop once
**** through a screen door and not leave a stain
Queer as: a bag o' dicks; 3 dollar bill
more f'd up than a bag of smashed a$$holes

I know I've got more...

 

[Zastava]

A country Boy said this to me today " I was just as happy as a tornado in a trailor park" And I laughed till I cried