Country Sayin's.

[JOKER]

He's so ugly he looks like he fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down!

 

[Big Belly J]

"If duct tape can’t fix it, it aint broke"

 

[JOKER]

He's so stupid if brains were dynamite, that boy couldn't blow his own nose!

 

[JOKER]

That babies got more chins than a Chinatown phone book!

 

[JOKER]

That boy's so slow he can't catch a cold.

 

[Cat Herder]

If someone asks, "How are you?" Granny always said, "Fair to middlin'..."
I saw the mule one a few posts back, always heard it as "grinnin' like a mule eatin' briars..."

 

[JOKER]

I'm so broke I can barely pay attention.

 

[JOKER]

He cant carry a tune in a bucket!

 

[craigd]

"Gone quicker than a cricket in a brim bed"
"That thing ain't got enough power to pull a greasy string out of a cat's ass"
"He's as goofy looking as three legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond"
"This is harder than finding a hotdog at a PETA meeting"

 

[craigd]

"If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem"