How to speak about women - and be politically correct

[OldAlien]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN - AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
- She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not HORNY
- She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She is not EASY
- She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT
- She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She has not BEEN AROUND
- She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED
- She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY
- She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

She does not have a KILLER BODY
- She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD
- She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
- She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
- She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU
- She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

She is not a SLUT
- She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
- She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE
- She is a LOW COST PROVIDER

 

[Corso]

My wife is shaking her head!!

 

[Jeffro2912]

This is awesome, thank you for making sure that I and all other ODT members do not get an EO charge brought against us for speaking badly about women, lol

 

[jlcnuke]

Don't forget about being "PC" for us guys...

He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER- He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT