JOKE OF THE DAY! lol

[codygarcia]

A drunk at a bar throws up on himself and starts crying. The guy next to him asks why he's crying. He says, my wife is going to kill me when she sees this puke all over my shirt. The guy says, that's an easy fix. Put a $10 bill in your shirt pocket and tell her that someone else threw up on your shirt and gave you the money for dry cleaning. The drunk says that's brilliant, and heads home. He walks through the door, his wife sees him and his shirt, and she demands an explanation. He explains the story to her and tells her about the money in his shirt pocket. She looks in his pocket and finds a $20 bill. She questions him about the discrepancy in cash, and he says, "oh yea, I forgot to tell you, he **** in my pants too."

 

[Navy/ArmyVet]

One day a young boy went to the cemetery to visit his grandparents graves. After the visit the child and mother were walking out of the cemetery. The child pointed and in surprise pointed to a headstone. The boy said mommy I didn’t know they would bury two people in the same grave! The mother said, No they would never do that! The boy said but they must have look what the headstone says! Here lies a Democrat and an Honest Man.

 

[Beulah Land]

An old lady was staring at herself in the mirror one day and was just not happy with what she saw. She told her husband “I’m so sad, I’m getting so old, fat and and uglier by the day. I just really need you to compliment me right now.”

The husband quickly replied “you eye sight is dang near perfect!”

 

[Beulah Land]

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colors? He suffered from a reptile disfunction.









Ok I’ll see myself out now.

 

[teearr]

Do you know how to titillate an Oceleot ?

You oscillate it's tit a lot.